Page 25 of Songs of Summer

Ben’s wife, Addison, tried to soften his words.

“He’s just upset. He loves Shep like a father.”

“So do we,” Veronica responded acerbically, amusing Bea. Veronica, saying and doing whatever she wanted, had always tickled her sister. She was funny—until Bea was on the receiving end of her narcissistic behavior.

Ben’s dog, Sally, lay waiting outside Shep’s bedroom door, triggering images of their childhood dog, Fluffy.

“Remember how much Fluffy loved Dad?” Bea said, tossing the memory to Veronica like a peace offering. She bit. (Veronica, not Fluffy.)

“Remember how he would take her on those long walks after dinner in the city—until we found him out?”

They both laughed. Veronica turned to Addison to explain.

“Shep would only walk the little white dog after dark. He said it was embarrassing to be seen with her. Then one night he had the flu and our mother sent us to walk Fluffy after dinner.”

Bea jumped in for the punchline.

“We got as far as MacDougal Street and Fluffy refused to budge, planting herself in front of the door of the Old Rabbit Club Bar. Veronica pushed the door open, and a bunch of drunks yelled ‘Fluffy!’ ”

The three women laughed, nervously, until Ben came out wearing the same sour expression he’d walked in with.

“He’s going to be fine. Dr.Jim will tell you more, but he said no more stress.”

Relief flooded the sisters’ faces, and they both promised to toe the line.

The doctor followed.

“My guess is that Shep had a panic attack, though he may be dehydrated. He’s refusing to go the hospital, but his vitals are normal, so I’m not overly concerned. Someone should go to the store and get Pedialyte. He will probably refuse to drink it, so pour it in a glass with some ice and tell him it’s a sports drink. He needs electrolytes.”

“I’ll go,” Matt volunteered, desperate to get out of there.

“Did anything stressful precede the incident?” the doctor asked.

“Possibly,” V said.

“Yes,” Bea admitted.

“Well, you are two grown women. I don’t need to lecture you.”

Both Bea and V flashed an eerily similar case-in-point look at Ben, before both swearing on all that was righteous and good to behave.

And for that night, they both did.

Track 14

A Bar Song (Tipsy)

Maggie

Maggie pedaled backto Ocean Beach, her legs moving as fast as the tears that streamed down her cheeks.

In all her thirty years, she had never felt so far from home. She missed Jason. She missed her own bed and the record store and her own bathroom. She really missed her own bathroom.

But that’s not why she was crying.

The truth was, although she rarely let herself go there, Maggie didn’t just miss her mother, she desperately missed having a mother. She missed talking to that one person in the world who cared about every little detail in her life, in her day, in her heart. And while she had billed this trip as nothing more than a fact-finding mission, she had fantasized that those facts would be conducive to finding something more.

When Maggie pictured meeting her birth mother and possibly her birth family, a PowerPoint presentation of possibilities had flooded her brain. Her mother standing on a rooftop screaming down at her sister to go fuck herself was not in the deck.

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