Page 82 of The Love Haters

“I’m saying that when I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you. And waiting to see you again. And we’ve spent all day, every day together for weeks now—and it already feels like it’ll never be enough.”

He was gazing at me so openly, I got caught spellbound.

And then I thought,He’s going to kiss me.

He was so dark and serious. So intense. So unwilling to look away. It was the intensity that happens from closeness—that tug that magnets have when they get close enough. It was the way he seemed to want so desperately to say things that he couldn’t fit into words.

You know that feeling when someone’s about to kiss you? That tension? That palpable anticipation? How everything slows down and seems tomatterin a whole new way?

That was the feeling I had. And it pushed out all the others.

There was no internet in that moment. No Lucas. No struggle against the howling winds of self-hatred. There was only Hutch, and his frowny eyes, and me. Everything else blurred away.

Was this how this ridiculous day was going to end?

Not with me weeping at the edge of the ocean—but with a kiss?

I could feel my breaths rolling in and out of my lungs like waves.

I could hear the ocean all around us. I could feel the sea breeze whispering past. I felt lost in something bigger than myself—time, or space, or maybe just Hutch’s gaze. I have never in all my life looked into another person’s eyes for so long. But I couldn’t look away.

And I didn’t want to.

And then Hutch leaned in closer. “You can’t believe them,” he said then, his voice sounding mesmerized, dropping his gaze to my mouth. “How could you believe them?”

And with that, he bent his head. And the truth—that he was definitely, absolutely, one million percent going to kiss me—seemed utterly impossible and completely inevitable at the same time. I wondered if this would be the kind of kiss that would eclipse all other kisses.

It feltthatlife-changing.

Then that same hand of mine that had checked all those comments without permission decided to go in another direction. To reach for something good this time.

I brought it up behind Hutch’s buzz cut and palmed its velvety texture.

And then I gave a slight,kiss metug.

And that was all the permission Hutch needed.

He dove in and pressed his mouth to mine.

Thirteen

WAS IT THEbest kiss in the history of humanity?

Um… yes.

I think all the history books will agree.

Hutch tightened his arms around me in a way that felt like a rescue. And then he kissed me so well, and so intensely, and so relentlessly, and so meltingly that I forgot everything else. The virtual haters disappeared, and so did the real-life partyers all around us, and so did the sunset, and the ocean—until there was nothing left but his mouth on mine, and the tightness of his arms, and all the tenderness in the world.

The longing, too. Like embers that had been fed a little kindling at last and were flaring up into flames of joy.

I won’t say that one kiss fixed every broken thing in my life. But I will say this: having someone stand up for you and then kiss you senseless by the water at sunset is a hell of a thing. Something quiet and forgotten and neglected in my soul got an undeniable dose of healing.

I’m also not declaring that kisses are magic.

Though maybe the right ones at the right time with the right people are—who knows?

But joy is a kind of magic, for sure. And if kissing Hutch at the water’s edge in Mallory Square doesn’t qualify as joy, then there’s nothing on this earth that does.

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