Page 19 of The Love Haters

Beanie paused. “Hateslove?”

I nodded. “He’s a love hater.”

“What does that mean?”

“He’s all rules and no heart! He’s all action and no reaction! He’s all body and no soul.”

Beanie peered at me through the phone. “Who cares?”

“He’s not even human! He hasn’t dated anyone in a year.”

“Youhaven’t dated anyone in a year.”

“I’m in recovery!”

“Sounds like he needs somecompany,” Beanie said, as ifcompanymeant ten different things at once.

“Not from me, he doesn’t!”

But now she was nodding like she’d had an idea. “You should sleep with the love hater.”

“Oh, my god!”

But Beanie doubled down. “Yes. This is the cure for everything.”

“Hehates love!”

“You could stand to hate love a little yourself.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying maybe an all-body, no-soul fling with a hero robot might help you toughen up a little.”

“I don’t need to toughen up.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I’m notsleepingwith my subject, Beanie. This is myjob.”

“The point is, you need an adventure. Don’t self-sabotage!”

“The point is,” I countered, “this is not an adventure. This is an attempt to not get downsized.”

“Why can’t it be both?”

But now I was shaking my head. “What was I thinking? Why did I lie about the swimming?”

“You’d rather just hand this job over to that brown-noser Mila?”

“At least she can swim.”

“Swimming’s not that hard,” Beanie said. “Just take some lessons.”

“Lessons?” I said, like I’d never heard of them before.

“You’ve got the weekend in Key West to settle in before work starts,” Beanie said. “Do a full-immersion class.” Then she tilted her head like she hadn’t meant to make that joke—but she’d allow it.

“Very funny.”

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