Page 92 of The Rom-Commers

“I don’t care.”

“You have to go!”

“I don’t have to do anything.”

“But that line-dancing scene sucks.”

“You’re forgetting that this project is never going to go.”

“You’re forgetting that you promised you’d make it good, anyway.”

“It’s good enough.”

Was he really going to refuse?

I pointed at him. “Are you a—” I couldn’t find the term I needed, so I had to make one up: “Apromise breaker? Is that what you are? You said you would do research.”

“I can watch videos on the internet for research.”

“Watching videos is not the same thing.”

“It’s close enough.”

“Why are you fighting this? You love immersion research. You’ve done it for every script you’ve written. You did a cattle drive in Montana forThe Last Gunslinger! You lived in a bunker for three months when you were writingForty Miles to Hell! You got so nauseated doing zero-gravity training forThe Destroyersthat you threw up three times!”

Charlie looked impressed that I knew all that. “Three timesthat you know of.”

“That’s exactly my point!”

But Charlie shook his head. “Those were all different.”

“Why?”

“Because those movies mattered.”

That smarted, I’ll admit.

I would’ve expected a comment like that back when I first got here. But we’d been working on this thing for weeks. Talking about these characters like they were real people. Writing scenes that were genuinely funny. Having fun. The scene where they fall on each other that we’d rewrittenafter we actually fell on each otherthat now incorporated frozen veggies? Pure delight.

Doesn’t delight matter?

I guess not.

I sighed. “This, right here, is why your screenplay sucks.”

“Because I don’t want to go line dancing?”

“Because you don’t believe in love.”

Charlie snorted a laugh. “Doyoubelieve in love?”

“Of course I believe in love. It’s the best thing humans ever invented. There arebooksabout this.” And then, like books weren’t enough: “There are TED Talks!”

“If you really believe that,” Charlie said, “shouldn’t you be married with like ten kids right now?”

That was so low. “I have to take care of my dad. Ican’tget married and have ten kids.”

He clearly wanted to win—and settle this once and for all. “But doesn’t love conquer all? Doesn’t love find a way? Shouldn’t some cartoon woodland animals show up and help you find your Happily Ever After?”

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