Page 69 of The Rom-Commers

“Just Sylvie him,” Sylvie said.

“Sylviehim?”

“Just act like you’re in charge. Like you always did with me.”

“That’s different,” I said. “With you, Iwasin charge.”

“But how did you get me to do all the things I didn’t want to do?”

“I just proceeded like there was no other option.”

“Exactly.”

“He’s not a kid, Sylvie. He’s a full-grown adult. I can’t just Jedi-mind-trick him into doing whatever I want.”

“Everybody’s a kid deep down,” Sylvie said. “Use your teacher voice. I bet you’ll be surprised.”

AND SO Idecided to give it a try.

Why not? I didn’t have any better ideas.

By the time I’d hung up with Sylvie, it was sixA.M.I put on my swimsuit and tied up my hair—and then I switched into teacher mode, strode confidently toward Charlie’s bedroom, and knocked loudly on his door.

Charlie opened it a few minutes later with one elastic cuff of his sweatpants up above his calf, his T-shirt on backward, his hair pointing up and out every direction, and one eye closed like a sea captain.

“What the hell are you wearing?” were the first words out of his mouth as he looked me up and down. “You’re practically naked.”

Teacher voice. Teacher voice.“I am not naked. I’m wearing a swimsuit. To go swimming.”

“Under it, I mean. You’re naked.”

“That’s not news. Everyone is naked under everything.”

“I’m not complaining,” Charlie said. “That’s just—a lot of arms and legs.”

“What am I supposed to wear? An eighteenth-century bathing costume?”

“Maybe just go back to bed? Problem solved.”

“You can’t be this skittish about a one-piece Speedo.”

“I haven’t been around a live woman in a long time.”

“That’s not my fault.”

“But it is your fault that you’re standing here right now.”

“It’s time to get up.”

“Why?”

Confidence! Teacher voice! Sylvie him!“Because that’s the schedule. I swim first thing in the morning.”

“I’m still trying to figure out what that has to do with me.”

“You’re coming with me.”

At that, Charlie made a break for the bed. But I caught him by the arm and dragged him out—through the living room, out the French doors, to the edge of the pool.

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