Page 56 of The Rom-Commers

“You can’t swim here,” Charlie said.

“Why not?”

“This pool’s off-limits.”

“Off-limits?” I asked.

“It’s not for swimming,” Charlie said.

“Yourpoolis not for swimming?”

“It hasn’t been cleaned in a while.”

I looked down at the water, sparkling like a mountain spring.

Charlie added, “And it’s not safe. You know? It’s not built to code. That diving board’s a death trap.”

“I thinkEsther Williamsknew how to build a high dive,” I said.

“She was a professional.”

I sighed and put my hand on my hip. “Are you telling me I can’t ever swim in your pool?”

“Pretty much.”

“But why?”

“Because.”

Nothing about this conversation made sense. But the idea of me in that pool clearly made Charlie unhappy. And maybe I was still mad about his whole Velveeta-themed comedy routine back in the bathroom, but the more unhappy I made him, the happier I felt.

I started walking toward the diving board at the far end.

“What are you doing?” Charlie called after me.

“I’m checking out the high dive.”

“I already told you—no swimming.”

“I’m not going to swim,” I said. “I’m just going to bounce a little.”

“You’re going tobounce a little?” Charlie demanded, breaking into a jog to come after me.

But by the time he got close, I was halfway up the ladder to the platform. He grabbed at my ankles—but I kicked his hands away, and he stayed on the ground.

Once I’d passed his grasp, he said, “Come down from there. That’s off-limits, too.”

“I was a competitive swimmer in high school. I’m practically amphibious. Chill out.”

Charlie watched as I reached the top and then walked out to the end, fully clothed, sneakers on. “Come down,” he ordered.

But what could I say? That familiar bounce of the springboard always felt so good. Also, I really didn’t like being ordered around.

Instead, I positioned myself backward at the edge, just my toes, heels hovering over the water, and got a nice rhythm going.

Charlie was halfway up the ladder, craning around the rungs in horror. “Please don’t do that!”

“Why is this stressing you out? This doesn’t concern you.”

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