Page 131 of The Rom-Commers

“No, I—”

“You think just because I like you—likedyou—and you have absolutely zero interest in me at all that I can’t be happy thatyou’re not sick with cancer?”

“I guess I just—”

“Where were you?” I demanded.

“I was visiting Cuthbert.”

I gave it a beat so we could all take that in. “You stood me up for a guinea pig?”

But Charlie refused to be cowed. “He’s off his food again.”

“So?”

“So Margaux asked me to sing to him.”

Seriously?I was all for humane treatment of animals, butcome on. I flared my nostrils at Charlie. “I’ve been waiting for you for three hours while you were serenading a rodent.”

“That’s an unfair spin.”

Fine. Whatever. “I made you a beef Wellington!” I shouted. “Do you have any idea how much those cost?”

“Let’s go eat it,” Charlie said, clearly hoping to inspire me to come down. “Let’s eat it right now.”

“It’s cold now,” I said. Then, “It’s ruined.”

“Cold beef is a delicacy,” Charlie said, reaching his hand out like I might take it. “People eat cold beef all the time.”

“Feed it to Cuthbert,” I said, bouncing on the board.

“I don’t— That’s not—”

“The point is,” I said, turning back to face the pool, “I’ve moved on.”

“Emma, come back this way—please,” Charlie said, and I could hear genuine fear in his voice. Of course, that didn’t mean much. I’d heard plenty of things in his voice.

“The beef Wellington was going to be my swan dive…” I said.

“Do you mean ‘swan song’?”

I gave him a look, likeDon’t tell me words. Then I ignored him. “But now I guess the swan dive will have to be a real swan dive.”

“Emma—donotdo a swan dive!”

“Charlie—donottell me what to do!”

“Emma, I’m begging you. Come here. You look very unsteady.”

“It’s the shoes. They’re too big.”

“It’s not the shoes. It’s the wine.”

“Champagne,” I corrected.

But, just then, Charlie took a step out onto the board. I felt his weight register.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

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