Page 92 of Hello Stranger

“Of course not.”

“I’m still just trying to figure out which part of this is bad.”

“It’s notbad,exactly. It just might be awkward.”

“I can handle awkward.”

“But why would you want to?”

Joe tilted his head, like it was already obvious. “To help you out.”

At the wordhelp,I felt my usual knee-jerknope.

I didn’t want his help! I didn’tneed—

… But actually, Ididneed his help.

I wouldn’t be standing in this hallway sobbing if I had any other options.

Would it be so terrible to just let him help me?

I thought about the very recent moment when I’d given my favorite dress to a total stranger in a public bathroom. It did feel good to help other people out sometimes.

Fine, I decided, with a long sigh. He wanted to help me? I’d let him help me.

What other choice did I have?

Maybe this was a moment of personal growth.

“Things I might do to you,” I said, “include, but aren’t limited to: Staring at you a lot, peering at you, and leaning in close. Studying you. Asking you to describe your face to me while I’m painting it. Projecting a grid over your face and mapping it out mathematically. Measuring your features with a tape measure. And touching your face, neck, and shoulders. Is any of that objectionable?”

“As long as you don’t put me in a Burt Reynolds toupee.”

“But what do you think?”

“I think I don’t know why we’re still talking about it.”

But then I had to ask: “Would it bother your girlfriend?”

“My what?”

I tilted my head to gesture down the hall. “Aren’t you dating Busty McGee?”

He looked in the direction of my gesture. “Do you mean Marie Michaux?”

“Huh. I guess she has a real name.”

“You know she’s a scientist, right? Dr. Marie Michaux.”

“No,” I said. “I just know she looks fantastic in a tank top.”

Joe shook his head. “She is a trailblazing evolutionary biologist and herpetologist.”

“Herpetologist? She studies herpes?”

Joe sighed. “Herpetologists study reptiles. She, in particular, studies the effects of climate change on snake coloration.”

I stared down the hall at her closed apartment door. “That’s not the profession I would’ve guessed.”

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