Page 86 of Hello Stranger

“Yeah.”

“She sounds like a psychopath.”

I nodded. “She basically stole my life. By the end of high school, she was living in my room, wearing my clothes, hanging with my friends, and sleeping with the boyfriend who dumped me after the scandal.”

Joe shook his head in protest.

“But the worst part,” I said, in conclusion, “was Peanut. I couldn’t take him with me. He had to spend two years living with those monsters. The day after I graduated, I made Lucinda bring him out to me on the front walk, and I never looked back.”

Finally Joe said, “Holy shit.”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“And now she’s moved into our building?”

“Yep.”

“Not by accident, I’m guessing.”

“Agreed.”

“But why?”

“I don’t really know,” I said. “But it’s not because she’s suddenly changed her entire personality, I can promise you that.”

“Do you think she’s here to mess with you?”

“I guarantee it.”

“But…” Joe asked again, looking befuddled. “Why?”

I thought for a second. “You know those children who try to trap ground squirrels so they can torture them?”

“I guess so?”

“That’s her. And I’m the ground squirrel.”

Joe took that in.

“Anyway,” I went on, “now she’s set her sights on you, so be warned.”

“What makes you think that?”

I looked into his puzzle-piece face. “She told me.”

Joe paused like that was completely nuts—which, in fairness, it was. “Why would she tell you that?”

I saw this coming. I could so easily have shrugged and said I didn’t know—and left it at that. But I was going to have to do a little bit of leveling with him to get him oriented. It was my civic duty to inform him what he was dealing with.

So I said, “Because she thinks I like you.”

It was a hell of a thing to just…put out there.

What was I doing? What was I thinking?

Sure—I was trying to be accurate.

But I miscalculated. I thought that if I rolled my eyes a little in the delivery, he’d dismiss the underlying truth of it out of hand while still grasping the essentials: that Parker was out to get me—and he could become collateral damage.

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