Page 88 of What You Wish For

“I’m going to download this white-noise app I love for you.”

Duncan kept watching me.

I played a couple of sounds for him. “What do you want?” I asked, trying to stay all business. “Ocean? Waterfall? Bath faucet?”

“You choose.”

But I kept going. “Car motor? Dishwasher? Campfire? You can combine them, too.”

“I trust you.”

In the end, I gave him what I had: thunderstorm, city trucks, and cat purr.

“This is going to change your life,” I said, turning it up a little.

“Perfect,” he said, eyes still closed. “I always knew you’d do that.”

“You should get some sleep now,” I said, setting his phone on the bedside table.

“Sam?” he asked.

“Yeah?”

“I’m so sorry about your butterflies.”

Oh. “I am, too,” I said.

He let his eyes close again. “I just have to keep everybody safe.”

I couldn’t help it. I reached out and stroked his hair. “Nobody can keep everybody safe.”

He was half asleep. “I have to try.”

I watched him a minute, until I thought he was out, but when I shifted to stand, he took my hand and pulled me toward the bed. “Stay here with me,” he said.

“I can’t. I’ll be right nearby.”

“Stay here,” he said. He closed his eyes. “We’re never going to remember it, anyway.”

“You’renever going to remember it,” I said.

“Oh. Yeah.”

I stayed close by until he was truly out. And I could have walked back to the living room and curled up on the couch there. He never would have known the difference.

But I didn’t.

I edged around to the far side of the bed, kicked off my shoes, and let myself curl up beside him. And when Chuck Norris jumped up on the bed to sleep at our feet, I decided to just add it to the long list of things Duncan would be forgetting… and I let him.

fifteen

By the next morning, when I woke up at six, slipped my shoes back on, loaded up all of Duncan’s succulents into a grocery sack for a rescue-op, and snuck back down under the house to call a car, I had a lot to process.

Fact: I had slept with Duncan Carpenter.

In a manner of speaking.

It wasn’t quite as great as it sounded, but it was still pretty great.

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