Page 39 of Happiness for Beginners

“He says these guys are notorious for killing people. They recruit the dumbest possible thrill-seekers and then don’t supervise them.”

“They’re under new management.”

“There are many excellent survival courses out there,” Mike said, like he had any authority to judge. “This isn’t one of them.”

“Guess you read about the bear attack.”

“No, but I did read about the rappelling accident. And the rockslide. And the guy who died from hypothermia.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, wondering if that was true.

“Why are you doing this?”

“If you survive, they might give you a Certificate.”

“Do you hear yourself talking?”

“I want that Certificate.”

“The thing is,” Mike said, “you’re not exactly a jock.”

He wasn’t wrong, but I resented the comment anyway. “I’ve been training for this for months,” I said, more irritated than I needed to be. “I’ve been running three miles every morning.”

“This is not a little jog around the neighborhood—”

“Athree-milejog,” I corrected.

“The fact that you’re impressed with three miles proves my point. Seriously.”

“That’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking.”

“Don’t tell me I can’t do this,” I said.

“Helen, you can’t change who you are.”

“Sure I can.”

“It’s just not like you to do stuff like this.”

“It didn’tused to belike me,” I said then, “back when you knew me. But I’ve turned myself into an animal now. A bloodthirsty animal.”

“Why?”

“You don’t want me to answer that.” I was regretting picking up the phone. Sometimesanybodyreally isn’t better thannobody.

“Helen,” Mike said then, “you don’t have to do this.”

“I do, actually. I really do.”

“I want you to come home.”

“I’m not coming home. I made a plan, and I’m following through.”

“No,” Mike said. “I mean, come home to me.”

I dropped the phone into my lap. And stared at it a second before I picked it back up.

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