Page 103 of Happiness for Beginners

“I can’t believe you didn’t get it,” he said.

I was still holding my breath. “Not a big deal.”

“You were robbed!”

“I’m happy for you all,” I said. “You’re Navy SEALs of the wilderness now. Even Hugh.”

He gave me a look. “He knew better than to step on that log.”

I gave Jake a smile and little shrug, like,Okay, that’s true.

Jake looked around. “Are you—leaving?”

“Yeah,” I said, trying so hard to sound casual that I sounded strangled instead. “Thought I’d turn in.”

“Sure.” He nodded. “Long drive tomorrow.”

I nodded. “Very long. And I’m not going to stop.”

“What—between here and GiGi’s?”

“I figure it’s fifteen hours, if I speed.”

“But you don’t speed.”

“Sometimes I do.”

“What if you fall asleep at the wheel?”

“They’ve invented this great thing called coffee. I’ll be fine.”

“But why race back?”

“I’m just ready to go home.” And as I said the words, I realized how true they were.

“About that,” he said then. “I know you don’t want me to hitch to Denver.”

I held perfectly still. That was right. I did not want him to hitch anywhere. Hadn’t there been enough made-for-TV movies about the dangers of hitching? Did we really have to go over it again? Or maybe we weren’t going to go over it. Maybe he was working up to asking me to give him a ride. Which, as soon as the thought hit me, I knew I’d love to do. Even just the idea of it was enough to ease my aching heart. We could snack on chocolate and listen to music and psychoanalyze all the crazy kids from this trip. I’d love to hear his take on Beckett. Plus, I had some dirt on the Sisters I knew would make him laugh. Just then, from the depths of my memory, I remembered a middle-of-the-night conversation where he’d invited me, half asleep, to come with him to Baja. He’d been kidding about that, of course. Probably. But it added fuel to my fire. The idea of going anywhere with him was so appealing, in fact, that even before he asked any question at all, I just went ahead and said, “Yes.”

Jake frowned. “‘Yes’ what?”

“Yes, I’ll drive you to Denver so you can catch your flight to the whale lagoon. Or whatever.”

He stared at me with his mouth open. “You will?”

“Yes.”

He shook his head a little. “But it’s the wrong way for you. You’ll miss the bar mitzvah.”

I shrugged. “I can miss it.”

“But then they’ll think you chickened out.”

“I don’t really care.”

Suddenly, the conversation felt way too naked. It seemed far too likely that the next question he’d ask me would bewhy. And then what would I say? In a gust of fear, I covered: “If you hitch, you’ll be murdered and cut into tiny pieces. If you’re murdered, Duncan’s life will be ruined, and if his life is ruined, then he’ll make sure mine is, too.”

Jake blinked at me.

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