Page 80 of Happiness for Beginners

“We think they should have it here,” Uno said.

“Who?” I asked, not opening my eyes.

“J-Dog and Heartbreaker,” they all said, together.

Had I just been feelingtranquil? I sat up.

“We think they should get married in this meadow,” Uno said.

“Since this is the place,” Dosie finished, “where they’re going to get engaged.”

I shook my head. “What are you talking about?”

“I have it on good authority,” Uno said, “that J-Dog is going to propose marriage to Heartbreaker here. Tonight. During the summer solstice party. In this meadow.”

But this wasmymeadow! Mine and Nathan’s. I had been happy here, dammit—for like a full five minutes. “Can we use real names, please?” I said.

“It’ll have to be a Buddhist ceremony,” Uno said, “because HB practices Buddhism.”

“What’s Buddhism?” Caboose asked.

No. It wasn’t possible that anybody didn’t know that.

“An ancient Native American religion,” Uno answered, with authority.

Make that two people.

I shook my head. “Nobody is getting engaged today. That’s totally just wrong.”

“Trust me,” Uno said. “I’m never wrong.”

Could she seriously think that about herself? “You’re dead wrong about Buddhism,” I said.

“Okay,” she said, shrugging. “But I’m never wrong about L-U-V.”

“Apparently,” Dosie said, “they sleep cuddled up next to each other every night.”

They weren’t even in the same tent group! “Where are you kids getting all this?” I asked.

“I can’t reveal my sources,” Dosie said.

I felt a crazy panic I couldn’t explain. “First of all,” I said then, “they’re, like, in preschool. And second of all, they’ve known each other a week.”

“Two weeks, actually—as of today,” said Uno.

“Sometimes, you justknow,” said Dosie.

“Haven’t you heard of love at first sight?” Caboose demanded.

“We are all way too disgusting for anybody to fall in love,” I declared. “They haven’t even changed underpants since the first day they met.”

“Gross,” Dosie said, opening her eyes to squint at me.

“People do not meet and get engaged in a week,” I insisted.

“Twoweeks.”

“Actually,” Caboose offered, raising her hand like she was in school, “my parents did.”

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