Page 5 of Puck Me Like You Do

I search through my contacts pulling up the name of the one person who has never let me down, other than divorcing my mom and leaving me in her care all these years.

On the third ring my dad answers the phone, "Hello, Briella. Is everything okay?"

How do I even begin to tell my father all the awful lies my mother said about me when I'm not even sure they are lies.

Instead, I take the cowards way out. "Dad, can I come and live with you and Emma for a while. Only until I get my life figured out." I add, not wanting him to think his daughter is more screwed up than ever.

"Of course, honey. Our home is your home. You never have to ask if you can stay with us."

The tears flow freely down my face. Why didn't I move in with him after the divorce? Why did I choose to stay with my mom?

A rush of pain runs through me when I realize all the time I've missed with my father. Choosing instead to stay with the woman who pretended affection toward me but really only saw me as a trophy.

"Thanks, Dad." I brush the tears off my cheeks with the back of my right hand. "My flight leaves in a couple of hours. I'll see you soon. And Dad, I love you."

"I love you too, pumpkin." A smile breaks out across my face at his term of endearment I haven't heard in years.

My mother always hated it when my dad called me pumpkin. She said it was trashy. At least I'm done having to answer to that witch.

And just like that, it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders and I can concentrate on winning a gold medal. Love and happiness can wait.

six

Briella

Present Day

Settlingintoanewtraining center was easier than I thought it would be. I've only had one day of practice, and it was only a half day since we share the practice facility with a pro hockey team, but I can already tell it's a thousand times better than my old training center.

As luck would have it, Sean is also training at this location. I'm meeting him for lunch to catch up, as friends, but that's it. I'm not ready to start up our old relationship. Even if my body is craving a man's touch. Or more specifically more than one man's touch. I shake my head clearing those dangerous thoughts.

In the last year I've done a lot of work on myself both on and off the ice. I no longer make rash decisions or hook-up with men for a quick fuck. Okay so the last part is a little of a stretch since I've only ever had sex with four guys. But they were still all bad decisions.

Gliding across the ice as I run through my routine, I can't help but think about those bad decisions. Sean was sweet. But each time we were together it felt rushed and hollow. Even the thrill of getting caught wasn't there. It felt very clinical, like getting your teeth cleaned twice a year. Not the rock my world and ruin me for anyone else feeling I got with Blade, Atlas, and Ivan.

Mentally slapping myself, I attempt the quadruple-triple-double I've been trying to perfect. The speed is perfect. The push off is on point. The spins come together perfectly. I'm inwardly congratulating myself as my feet touch the ice in a perfect landing.

"Yes!" I throw my fist into the air like I'm Judd Nelson at the end of the movie the Breakfast Club. And just like Judd, I'm the only one there to see it, or so I thought.

"Briella, is that you?" A rich, deep familiar voice calls out from across the ice.

It might have been only one night and a year ago, but that voice and the other two voices haunt my dreams nightly. "Blade." I say gathering my composure. "Atlas. Ivan." I nod, acknowledging each of them. "What are you guys doing here?"

Smooth, real smooth, Briella.

"We play for the Iowa Poseidon hockey team. I thought you knew that." Blade's words begin to sink in as he Atlas and Ivan skate next to me in their practice uniforms.

Did I know that?

What I do know is, I never once searched for them online. Part of working on myself was letting the past go. I've had zero contact with my mother since that day. Nor has she tried to contact me, which isn't surprising considering how she spoke to me that day.

Not having contact with my mother was the easy part. Not having contact with Blade, Atlas, and Ivan is another story.

Sure, I only knew them for one night and they were jerks in the morning when they didn't even try to defend me. But damn it if my mind doesn't replay on loop how funny and sweet they were when we weren't having sex.

Nope, don't go there Bri.

"It must have slipped my mind." I shrug, trying to act like being this close to them doesn't affect me. "This is my new training center. Well at least for now." I'm not sure why I added that last part. It's not like I'm going to run away from them again.

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