Page 33 of Sneak Attack

“Can’t a girl enjoy the beauty of God’s land in silence?”

“Of course girls can, but you haven’t believed in God since I’ve known you so how about we don’t bring Him into it.”

“People change.” I hadn’t. Not in my belief and while I could agree that there was a God out there, somewhere, I never truly believed He cared about the internal workings of my heart or soul or had a direct impact on our lives.

“And don’t I know it, but how about you be real with me for a minute as the kids say these days.”

I wasn’t sure kids still said anything of the sort. “I’d rather talk about the nurse coming next week.”

It was time. Or would be soon, and I needed to have everything lined up. Her breathing was heavier, more wheezy, and it wouldn’t be long before these daily morning walks we took grew to be too much for her.

“Gah. I’m dying. Slowly. The nurse isn’t going to do anything except make me more comfortable while I go, and we both know it.”

Damn her annoying peace with her own death.

“Marley—”

“I’ve been thinking about me and only me for the last twenty years. It’s time I do something different.”

“You’ve never thought about yourself a day in your life,” I teased her. The woman rivaled Mother Teresa.

“Talk.”

It was a command from a dying old lady. She’d warned me she’d force me to talk sometime, and she’d let me avoid it for over a week. Apparently she was done with that because she didn’t need to say more for me to know who I was talking about.

“I saw Cole. Yesterday at BarkTown.”

“Seems to me you’ve seen quite a bit of him since you’ve been back.”

“Not of my choosing.”

“Perhaps someone’s trying to tell you to stop avoiding what you’re hiding from then.”

I rolled my eyes and thankfully I was not only taller than Marley, but I was looking away from her, so she didn’t see me. A schooling from her never felt good, despite how kindly she gave it.

“I came back for you and that’s all. I’d prefer if Ididn’tsee Cole anymore.”

“More lies upon lies, soon you’ll be buried so deep beneath them you won’t know how to get out.”

“Marley—”

“Nope. My turn. I’m older than you and I’ve lived longer, and I just know more. Life’s too short, Eden. It’s too short to carry the weight of all that happened and it’s too short to not forgive yourself for it. It’s too damn short for you to keep runnin’ from your problems, not speakin’ to your family. You didn’t disappoint them, and they love you more than life itself, they just want to know you’re okay. Instead, you’ve spent the last seven years hiding and hunkerin’ down with dogs and cats, not letting anyone else in so no one else can hurt you.”

“Dogs give me peace. And you’re wrong. I’ve dated.”

“Bologna. You ain’t dated anyone longer than a few months at a time and we both know you bail if you ever start feeling something. Besides, true peace comes from within, not from fur—no matter how soft it is and how sweet their kisses are.”

She pulled her arm from mine and stopped near the water’s edge. The sun shone on her face as she tipped it to the sky and in the distance, birds happily chirped.

But she’d hit me with a one-two punch about Coleandmy strained relationship with my parents, so I wasn’t feeling nearly as happy as the birds.

“I love you, child. Loved you since the moment your family moved in across the street, loved you since I walked over to your house with my blueberry jams and you and your mom were so sweet and thankful. You’ve been good to me, but I wouldn’t be being good to you back if I let you keep burying your head in the sand before it’s too late.”

“I’m not—”

“You are,” she snapped and turned to me. Marley was rarely so forceful, her words knocked me back a step. “You’re burying and you’re hiding and you’re not happy and you haven’t been and everyone—me and your parents who love you—can see that. Heck, I bet Cole took one look at you and saw the devastation still stamped all over you. It’s time to forgive yourself. It’s time for you tolive,and not for me, but because at the very gosh darn bare minimum, it’s what Hilary woulda wanted for you, despite everything else.”

Ha. Now that was just false. And how dare she…

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