Page 117 of Sneak Attack

“You were doing what she wanted,” Dave choked out, tears in his own eyes. “You were living.”

While she was dying.

It wasn’t fair, even if we’d known it was going to happen. “She was supposed to have one last Christmas.”

“She’ll celebrate it with Darryl for the first time in thirty years.”

I laughed over another sob. She was with a full head of hair and probably ecstatic to see him while we were all miserable. Death was only horrible to the loved ones left behind, and I hadn’t nearly enough time with her.

I needed more stories. More wisdom.

I needed Marley.

“Would you like me to call your mom?” Kate asked, hugging a still-crying Jasper with a sad smile on her face.

I nodded, unable to answer, but yeah…I wanted my mom. And my dad. “Thanks.”

“Should we go see her?” Cole asked, and what a mess we all were because Cole didn’t seem to be faring much better than the rest of us. “Say goodbye?”

I shook my head. I wasn’t ready. Instead, I burrowed into Cole and threw my arms around his waist. His arms, strong and trembling with his own emotion, held me tight to him. “She wouldn’t want this,” he whispered.

“Tough. She doesn’t always get what she wants.”

“Yeah. She does.”

I laughed, tears soaking his shirt and probably snot. Fine. Marley did always get what she wanted.

He held me for a few more minutes until I was able to soften the tears and wipe my ace. “You need a new shirt.”

“I’ll buy a thousand of them, so you don’t have to worry about how much you cry on them.”

The door opened, and Melanie stood behind the screen door. Her eyes were equally red, and for a moment, I was surprised. She was used to this. She had to see it often, but seeing her genuine emotion made me like her so much better.

“Keep Jasper out here,” Cole said quietly. His dad agreed and then I was being guided inside the house I’d grown to love so much that it would never be the same again.

“I’m sorry,” Melanie whispered. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I know she meant a lot to you both, but if it brings you any comfort, know she’s no longer suffering.”

I knew that. Knew how hard the last several months were for her on her good days and in her good moments.

“Thank you.” She gave us another sad smile and stepped farther back, giving us a moment.

I headed toward her room, the hallway blurring in front of me and behind me was the soft thump of Cole’s sneakers following. When I reached her doorway, Melanie called my name.

“Yes?”

“Before her nap, she asked for some paper and a box. They’re on her nightstand. I believe she left it for you.”

God…how much harder could I cry?

With bravery I absolutely didn’t feel, I stepped into Marley’s room. The blinds were opened enough to let the outside sunshine in but the lights in her room were off. She was tucked beneath her favorite floral quilt, gray hair around her face, and I froze so suddenly Cole stepped into me, his chest to my back. I reached back and squeezed his hand.

“She looks like she’s still sleeping.” He stepped forward, moving me with him. “I don’t know how to say goodbye to her. Not after all the time I ignored her and wasn’t here for her.”

“You were here when it mattered. Came when she asked.”

It wasn’t enough. There was never enough I could do for her.

I collapsed onto the side of the bed, sitting down, and I took her hand in mine. She was cooling, and her hand was frail and her skin already pale, but I brought it to my cheek, felt her soft skin against mine one more time.

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