Page 35 of Twisted Hearts

“Understood.” His jaw ticked and he turned onto a different street, maneuvering the streets of Raleigh while he depended on his GPS app. He might have understood, but that tic told me he didn’t like that I wasn’t opening up.

It was less than fifteen minutes later when we pulled into an underground garage. The tension in the vehicle was at a level that threatened to boil over. I didn’t know what to say. Shawn clearly had a lot to say but was biting it back based on the squinting looks he gave me and the sighs he let out, the clench of his hands around the wheel. More than once I saw him flex those hands, trying to loosen the tension, but by the time we arrived and he pulled into a parking spot, I was about ready to fling myself out of the car to be able to breathe again.

I was screwing this up, but how did you tell a man who had admitted to being attracted to you the things you’d allowed? The decisions you’d gone along with?

It made me spineless. Naive. I despised knowing I was that woman, and the last person I wanted to admit those things to was the man next to me, who had turned off his ignition and hung his head toward his lap.

“I want you to understand something about me,” Shawn said, and his voice was so ragged, so torn, my pulse jumped. He faced me, head still down, expression a mixture of earnestness and concern.

“What?” I breathed the word out, too terrified to speak any louder. Whatever he had to say to me felt heavy.

“I didn’t go to the police academy and become a cop because I wanted power or control.”

Not at all what I expected. “Okay…”

“I went because it was a calling. I went because I’ve always had a deep-seatedneedto help people, to protect them. Becoming a police officer was the only way I knew how to do that until I came here.”

I shook my head. “I don’t…I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.”

He huffed, almost a laugh. It broke some of the weight and heaviness in the cab. “Because I want you to know me, but more than that, I want you to get that it might irritate me to know you don’t want to open up to me, but I’ve known there was something wrong since that first night. I see that you’re afraid, and I’m worried my intense need to help people might scare you off. I don’t want that, and I’m trying to let you move at your pace. It’s just not in me to see someone in trouble and not do whatever I can, however I can, to solve it for them.”

A thousand pounds of pressure that’d been sitting on my chest for the last week—no, months—eased, allowing me to breathe for maybe the first time in over a year and do it easily.

“It’s not that I don’t want help. It’s that it’s embarrassing and makes me ashamed.” Tears pricked as I gazed at his reaction, the tightening of his jaw and the lines around his eyes. “I don’t want you to know those things about me and walk away. And to be honest, I’ve never asked for help from anyone until recently, so that alone is hard for me.”

In truth, I didn’t know him, and I wasn’t certain a physical attraction would lead to more. I could trust him…with my protection.

With my heart? My fears? Hell, that was on a whole different level.

His eyes softened to that beautiful ocean blue I could have easily gotten lost in, and he nodded once. “That I understand. Come on.” He opened his door and grinned. “Let’s get you to Jaxon, and the rest…well that’s entirely up to you.”

It took me longer to get out of the truck, not because of the height or maneuvering the step rail at the side and being careful not to bang the car parked next to us. No, it took me longer because my knees were shaky and my heart was unsettled from his admission.

He was telling me he’d go at my pace, whatever that might be, and he meant it.

That alone allowed me to hand over a small piece of trust to him.

* * *

Shawn escortedme to a bank of four elevators and punched in a code before one of the sets of doors slid open. We stepped in, and tension that had loosened in the truck built again while Shawn hit the button for the fourth floor and the doors closed, encasing us inside.

This wasn’t like the truck where I’d upset him or hurt him.

This intensity was purely because I was a bundle of nerves that could explode and unravel at any moment. I had no misconceptions about what I had to do, but knowing and saying were too vastly different things. While I tried to think of how I’d even begin to relay the entire sordid ordeal and mess I’d found myself in, there wasn’t only the niggling in my mind that I was completely overreacting, that maybe what the Johanssens had said was complete and utter bullshit; there were also the undeniable nerves I felt toward Shawn.

A hand landed on my shoulder and I jumped, having not even realized I’d closed my eyes.

“Hey. Calm down.” Shawn bent down, bringing his face close to mine, eyebrows etched with concern and eyes wide with worry. “Take a breath—you’re looking like you might pass out.”

His hand tightened on my shoulder, and he inhaled deeply. Without thought, I followed his breath, my chest rattling and my pulse spiking while I did.

“There you go,” he murmured, face only inches away, letting me see all of his features up close: the gold flecks around his irises I had missed and the barely-there appearance of stubble like he had been in a hurry to get to me and had forgone shaving…the square strength of his chin and jaw and the soft but masculine scent of what had to be soap or shampoo for as light as it was.

“I’m scared,” I admitted, exhaling the words before I could think to keep them locked up tight. My chin wobbled, and that one small, truthful admission risked breaking floodgates I’d been trying so hard to keep locked tight. I’d been trying so hard to be strong, to keep moving and start finding myself while constantly looking over my shoulder. They broke, right there, in the elevator with Shawn holding on to me and looking so damn strong and worried. “I’m really scared.”

“Come here.”

His hand at my shoulder pulled me toward him, and before I could steady myself, I collapsed against him. Two strong arms wrapped around me, and he held me to him.

---