Page 24 of Long Road Home

I had never heard of the game he said he spent hours playing with his friends. I wasn’t the least bit interested in it either.

“I can download it. No problem. Then you can teach me. How about it?”

“Mom? Can I?” He turned to Destiny who was still on the porch, laptop on her lap and phone next to her, acting like she hadn’t been zeroed in on everything we said.

“What’s that, kiddo?”

“Jordan wants to bring over his Xbox so I can teach him how to play Fortnite. Is that okay?”

Her bottom lip slid between her teeth. Waiting for permission to spend time with my kid stung like a bitch.

“Sure, honey. How about while Jordan goes and gets that, you go in and get cleaned up.”

“I showered yesterday.”

“And you stink again today,” she said, grinning. “Imagine that.”

“Ugh. Fine.” He turned to me and his pout was so heavy it almost made me burst out laughing. Yeah, this was my kid all right. “You’ll come back?”

I couldn’t resist. I settled my hand on his shoulder and squeezed. He looked at my hand and back up at me. Always. I’d always be there for him from that day forward. “Less than an hour. Gives me time to shower the stink off me too, okay? Then I’ll be here.”

“Okay. Cool.”

Toby took off into the house, tossing the ball onto the porch as he went and Destiny came toward me.

“I’m packing a bag and spending the night,” I said as she got close.

“Excuse me?”

“I want to spend time with him. I need that. I don’t want to argue about it with you, but I want you to give me that.”

“I’m not sure you spending the night is the best thing, Jordan.” She shook her head. “Not yet, you know? This is all so new, and I don’t want to confuse him any more.”

“How exactly would he be confused about his dad wanting to spend time with him?” That bite in my tone made her flinch. Damn it. I had to find a lock on this anger that spewed whenever we spoke. That wouldn’t be good for anyone. And I promised Toby I’d try. I wiped my hand across my face and tried again. “Give me this, Des. I don’t want to keep throwing this in your face, but you owe me. I’ll be on the couch. And this way, after he heads to bed tonight, you and I can talk some more.”

“I know I owe you this. I do. But you spending the night…” She trailed off and her hands went to her hair, running through her long blonde locks that had even lighter streaks in them. She’d always been beautiful to me. Still was. More filled out. More grown-up and mature. I wanted to kick my own ass for noticing while I was so pissed at her, but this was Destiny. It couldn’t be helped. She’d always been mine.

“I have…well, had someone,” she said, her voice trembling. “We’ve been together for three years, Jordan. And Toby’s not an idiot. I don’t want him getting the wrong idea.”

“It serious?” I asked, my hands flying to my hips. Three fucking years she was dating some guy without a ring on her finger? And God…I hadn’t expected that. Hadn’t even considered.

“I’m not sure that’s any of your business,” she said. It was softly spoken, almost scared. “But it ended, recently. So on top of losing Tillie, Toby’s also had a hard time coming to accept Paul not being in his life.”

“Trust me,” I clipped back. “No way in hell would I allow him to get the wrong idea about you and me. We don’t have anything besides him anymore. You made sure of that.”

I spun and headed to my SUV. And again, I’d been a dick. I showed up earlier tonight to apologize to her for being one, and there I went, doing the same damn thing all over again—a cheap, dick-ish parting shot. I fled before the pain on her face I inflicted could force me to drop to my knees and beg for her forgiveness.

Eight

Destiny

“And he saidhe’d take me out there to teach me how to ride the horses. Isn’t that cool, mom?”

If there was ever a time I wished I was more than a one-drink at dinner at a restaurant only kind of drinker, it was definitely that moment.

“Yeah, honey. That’s great. I learned how to ride on Gray out there.”

“You can ride horses?”

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