Page 19 of Long Road Home

“I’m not letting you take more vacation. Work from there. You can do almost all of your work remotely. Toby needs this, honey, and you’ve always done whatever Toby needs. A few days meeting his dad isn’t going to help anything. Give them time to get to know each other, get settled, come up with a plan. Then, we’ll talk.”

“I can’t—”

Damn it. She made good points I hadn’t even considered. “Toby has friends. And school registration coming up. We can’t stay here.”

“You can, you’re just scared, and I think it’s bullshit. Plus, if you do this, it’ll show Jordan you want to work something out. Then maybe he won’t follow through on that threat.”

“You’re too smart for your own good.”

She laughed through the phone and when she spoke again, her sweet voice made my eyes burn. “I’m glad you finally let this out. You’ve held on to this for too long by yourself. Now you can finally heal. You all can.”

After Jordan had left, I’d dragged Toby out of his room where we’d eaten our cold bacon and burnt eggs and toast with sullen expressions. He hadn’t said anything, mostly nodded when I tried to get him to talk or ignored me completely. After, he’d gone outside and dribbled and shot the ball for hours until he came inside and went to his room.

I’d checked on him and found him napping, which was enough to make me cry again. The kid hadn’t taken a nap since he was two. I’d put the poor guy through too much, too fast.

Instead of losing it, I’d gone downstairs and called Allison, needing someone to know everything. She let me blabber for almost an hour. Thank God for amazing friends.

“Call me Monday,” she said. “Talk to the realtor, get things settled. I’ll spend the rest of the weekend drawing up plans and rearranging work so you can do the stuff from there. We’ll figure it out and you can always call me. Always.”

My phone beeped with an incoming call and I looked at the screen.

It was Paul. I sighed into the phone. “I gotta go, sweetie. Paul’s calling.”

“Let that man go.”

Another beep made me think I misunderstood her. “What are you talking about? I already ended things with him.”

“You heard me. I love Paul. Good guy. Not for you. You held on to him because he makes Toby happy, but that’s not fair to anyone. This is your time for redemption. A clean slate. Let him go so he can find someone who loves all the great things about him. And do it so he knows there’s no reconciliation possible this time.”

“God, Allison. Kick me while I’m down.” My phone beeped again, this time dinging with a voicemail and I groaned. “I hate you.”

“You love me, and you love that I make sense. You might hate my tough love thing I have going on tonight, but you know it comes from love for you and your boy. I’m simply showing you the way to make this easier on you.”

Being around Jordan for weeks was the exact opposite of easy.

“I should call him back.”

“Love you. You’re stronger than you know, honey. And when you doubt that, call me. I can always come to you, too. Drake won’t mind.” Allison’s husband would give her anything she asked for. I’d never seen a man so smitten even years after he was married.

“Tell him I say hello. Talk soon. And thanks, Allison.”

“Always, honey.”

We hung up and I immediately went to my voicemail icon, stalling on returning his call. I pressed play and my eyes squeezed closed as Paul’s voice came through my speaker.

“Hey, Jane. Haven’t heard from you since yesterday and I know it’s tough for you.” He sighed and continued. “Wish you would have let me be there for you and Toby, but I understand. Give my love to Toby, too, okay? Call me if you need anything.”

I squeezed my eyes closed. His voice was tortured. Tinged with disappointment too and I knew that was because I’d insisted he didn’t come with me. Why would I want him here? God, if Paul had heard all those things at the funeral, he’d have lost his mind. Seeing Jordan wouldn’t have done any good either.

I’d call him later. After I heard from Jordan.

Until then, I had my head filled with too much drama to wade into more.

I stayed on the front porch and finished my tea and headed back inside to cook dinner.

We didn’t have much food, though I’d gotten us enough for a few days, so I went to work making chicken alfredo, a dish Toby loved, especially when I tossed in peas.

I was fixing up a salad, garlic bread in the broiler, when my phone rang again.

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