Page 11 of Long Road Home

“You should Google him,” I said. “He played for the Rockies.”

“Seriously?” Toby’s brows shot up in surprise. “My dad hit the big time?”

Dad. That one word. It was the first time he’d said it and he didn’t hesitate. How could I have done this to him? To both of them?

“I know he was drafted to them. I don’t know what happened after that. But I really didn’t expect to see him here.”

Why was he here? What had happened? Seemed I had some googling of my own to do. Like find a way to reach him, for one, but worst-case scenario, and it was definitely the worst, I could call Rebecca in the morning.

“That’s crazy cool.” Toby’s voice went soft along with his gaze and he flipped through more baseball clippings. “Do you think that’s why I’m so good at basketball?”

I sniffed back more tears. “Well, we know you didn’t get your athleticism from me,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

“Yeah.” He grinned at me. “You can’t dribble for anything.”

My smile died. “I’m sure that he has given you a thousand awesome things that make you, you. Your athletic talent is definitely one of them, but it’s not the best.”

His finger ran gently over the photo and his chin wobbled. “I look like him.”

“And you have his really big, kind heart.” Lord knew he didn’t get that from me either. Not when the last decade of my life had been filled with selfishness. I shook off the thought. “Listen, kiddo. It’s late and this has been one heckuva long day. How about we pack it in and figure out the rest tomorrow?”

He bit his bottom lip and looked back to the photos. “Can I look at this a little bit longer? I can do it in my room.”

“Yeah.” I shoved a stack of photos into a pile and dropped them in the box. “You can look as long as you need to.”

He nodded and slid out a photo that made my heart stutter. Fourth of July Parade. Jordan had been given his own parade float for not only making all-state baseball honors four years in a row but for signing his full-ride. The float was decked out in KU red and blue, their bird mascot at the helm of the float. He’d insisted I ride in it with him, because where we were going, we were doing it together. By then, people in town had gotten used to us, but they never once changed their opinions about hating it.

But I couldn’t say no to Jordan even though I hadn’t wanted to be there. In the photo, Jordan had one arm around me, low on my waist, holding my front to his side. His other arm was lifted into the air, waving and smiling, and I had my head tilted back. I was smiling up at him like he was my hero, knowing I was leaving and walking away. In that moment, during that parade, I let him hold me as much as he wanted, searing that day into my mind because I knew it’d be the last time I saw him. The last time he held me. Later that afternoon we’d gotten into a rip-roaring fight I started, and two days later I was gone.

“You were really pretty too, Mom.”

I winked at Toby. “I was?”

His grin wobbled. “Well, you’re not bad now. Just old.”

I flung a pillow at him and he laughed. Then I helped him pick up the mess we’d made, and we headed upstairs. Once he was in bed and I kissed him goodnight, I went to my own room and crashed into bed, hoping like hell I’d be able to fix the other mess I’d made, too.

Five

Jordan

I slept like shit.I couldn’t even blame it on the four beers I had before deciding getting plastered because my high school girlfriend was back in town was the lamest thing I could do.

I’d stopped early enough to spend a few more hours hanging out with Ryan and Cooper before taking off. At some point, Rebecca had disappeared, some lame excuse about needing more wine. I didn’t question it even though she had a stocked wine fridge in her kitchen island. My sister was crazy.

Still, she’d returned less than an hour later with two bottles of wine and tears in her eyes which she refused to talk about.

I spent the rest of the night quiet, thinking…regretting how I’d treated Destiny at the funeral.

I’d been a dick to her in front of her son, and I didn’t actually like being a dick to people.

By the time I left the ranch, it was too late to do anything but head home where I proceeded to toss and turn until four o’clock in the morning before giving up the ghost and getting out of bed.

I worked out. Went to the Golf Resort where I spent two more hours pretending to do paperwork when I gave that up, too.

The perks of being your own boss and owning everything? I could do whatever the hell I wanted. I told Alicia, my assistant, to forward any emergency calls to me, but other than that, I was taking the day off.

She’d sputtered at me, confused. I worked every day. All hours. My schedule wasn’t set, and I fucking loved my job, so I was almost always on the resort in some capacity, even if it was playing a round of golf every once in a while. I’d picked it up in college one summer and found I liked the frustrating as hell sport.

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