Page 1 of Long Road Home

One

Destiny

The mid-morning sunbeat down on the top of my head, searing right through my black dress. Summer in Houston was unbearable, but I’d forgotten how miserable Kansas’s summers could be too. Sweat beaded at the nape of my neck, my hairline, and Toby’s hand in mine was even worse.

We were standing front and center, listening to the pastor begin my grandmother’s funeral service. I’d debated about whether or not to bring Toby back to my hometown for this, but he deserved the closure in saying goodbye to Tillie, too.

I’d prayed all morning that no one would recognize him and that no one would figure out my lies. I prayed that the long-time locals had learned some manners and how to bite their waggling tongues since I left.

But shit. Those that hadn’t, those with long memories…my name would be on the tip of their tongues. If the truth ever came out, I was going to be hated, despised more than I was before.

This time, they would take it out on more than me…they’d take it out on my boy.

We just had to get through this service. We’d stay here for a few days, long enough to get Tillie’s things in order, her house cleaned up and ready to sell. Then I’d head back home to Houston where we lived.

Somehow, I had to do all that work while avoiding almost everyone in town. The stress of it had me in tears, although it wasn’t purely from that.

I’d been crying so hard all morning I kept my sunglasses firmly planted on the bridge of my nose. It’d started as soon as we walked into Tillie’s house last night and saw the stack of papers and her funeral information left on the kitchen table.

I had no idea who left it, but as soon as I read the newspaper article, it was clear Tillie had made her plans with me in mind, knowing…or more likely, hoping, I’d return home for this. In reality, my grandmother’s funeral would be the only thing I’d return to Carlton for.

There was no viewing service at a funeral home where I’d be expected to stand in a line and thank everyone for coming.

The only service she requested and planned was a burial service at the cemetery, beyond the small Methodist church where she’d been a member of her entire life.

Tillie was my life force. My only blood relative. She took me in without question when my mom abandoned me. She did her damnedest to help me ignore the whispers and gossip and disappointed and unwelcome looks I always received from the majority of people in this town.

And good Lord, how I disappointed her, as much as it killed me to do so.

She still, always had my back. Always trusted me. Always poured out her love not only in unending measure to me, but to Toby as well.

We hadn’t seen her since her visit last summer.

I hadn’t been here, to my home, since I was eighteen.

This was where the best things happened to me before Toby arrived.

This was where the worst things happened to me.

This was where I fell in love.

This was where I destroyed that love with a cowardly lie.

Everything I was, everything I wanted to be, was left in this small town, and unfortunately, even with Tillie’s help and love, nothing had changed. I’d become exactly who everyone had predicted.

A liar. A thief. A horrible, rotten person.

Exactly like my mother.

The whispers started halfway through the service, tittering and weaving through the crowd until they made their way to my ears.

I can’t believe she came back.

There’s no ring on her finger.

How old is that boy?

Just like her momma, that girl is, always was, always will be.

---