Page 82 of Dominate Me

“Jensen—”

“To play?” He sounded aghast. Hurt.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, but they were a jumbled mess. I was handling this all wrong, and yet we were on a train with no upcoming stop.

The tension became so thick it was difficult to breathe. “Yeah, I guess,” I finally said. “I wanted...I saw Gabby and Dylan, the way they are, and it just reminded me of what I was searching for.”

“And that’s not me.”

“No, that’s not it at all.” But it was too late.

He ran his hands down his face and then through his hair, twisting them together at his neck. He stared at the ceiling of the car and cursed.

“Wow. I just...misjudged this whole thing.”

This thing?

I was now a thing to him?

Fear burned in the back of my throat. I blinked rapidly to push away the tears filling my eyes. “I don’t think I’m explaining myself well. You are enough.”

“Clearly,” he snapped, glaring at me, “I’m not. And holy shit? You see one conversation between the two of them and what, were jealous, because Dylan gave Gabby something you wanted that I didn’t? Fuck, they have years together. We’ve had weeks.”

“It was the way she called him Master.” I recognized my mistake immediately.

His dark eyes cooled and he licked his lips, turning to face the front of his car. He didn’t speak while he shifted out of his seat and reached for a bottle of amber-colored alcohol in a small cooler on the side. The clink of ice cubes, the glug-glug of alcohol being poured was the only sound in the car. I could only stare.

Wait.

It took so long and I stared out the window catching the familiar alley as the car slowed to a stop.

Dread settled like an anchor in my stomach.

I had messed this up. I had messed everything up when the night had started so perfectly, when he’d looked at me like I was the most important—theonly—person in his life.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, forcing the words out of my dry throat. Tears filled my eyes and my throat burned. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what got into me. You’ve given me everything I’ve needed, more than anything I could possibly imagine. Jensen.”

I unbuckled my seat belt and leaned toward him, but he jerked out of my reach.

The rest of the words lodged in my throat. I was terrified but what else could I tell him? That I was falling in love with him? Would the admission push him further away after I’d already made such a big mess? Would he even believe me now?

I did want what Gabby had.

Yet, Jensen had already promised me a collar. What more did I want?

And was it a sexual or emotional connection I was seeking?

“Red.”

“What?” All the blood rushed from my face, chilling my entire body. “What?” I repeated.

“Red.” His lips tightened and he sipped his drink. “You can go in there—”

“I don’t want to. Not without you.” He grimaced and I clarified, “Not even with you.”

“Then perhaps the problem is that you don’t know what you want, but what I can give you might not be it. I have to go see to something. Take the time you need and let me know once you’ve got your shit figured out. Until then...red.”

He was stopping this. I understood. I wanted to pull the words back into my throat and wish I’d never said anything.

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