Yet as Gabby fingered her collar like a woman spun her wedding band on her ring finger, I wanted it.
Even after he gave me everything else, I still wanted that from Jensen. The fact he hadn’t, that he seemed uninterested in it, sent a small pebble of doubt inside my stomach as Gabby led me to the bathroom.
A sour taste filled my mouth as I used the restroom and washed my hands. I tried focusing on Gabby, her chatting and gossiping about some of the people I’d met earlier, but her voice was background to noise to the growing unease inside my stomach.
Was I changing again?
Had I fallen into an old pattern, denying what I wanted—needed—in order to keep a man happy? Was I once again placing too high expectations on a man, trying to change him to be what I wanted in order to give me the same?
Yet he hadn’t balked when I’d accidentally brought up the collar in the bath the other night, either. Perhaps like he said before, we needed to figure this out. It was new for both of us. And I needed to stop being so afraid of repeating past mistakes and ask for what I wanted, like he had done when he wanted to change our initial rules.
I made a sound of frustration and followed Gabby out of the restroom.