And for the first time, Jensen was going to allow us to play in public. Not only were we going to play, but he had allowed me carte blanche, the decision of where and how it would happen.
As the lump in my throat grew, and my nerves skittered down my spine, I still couldn’t wait.
I wanted it all.
“I’m ready.”
His gaze roamed my face, seeking out any lies or trepidation. I waited silently until he finished his inspection, picking up only full honesty. He returned a nod before climbing out of the car.
The chilled wind was brutal as I stepped out of the door he opened for me and I pulled my long coat tighter around my waist. Then I followed Jensen into Luminous, his hand at my back, my eyes cast downward like I was supposed to do when we were in public.
He said hello to Joe and handed him my coat while I kept my gaze diverted.
While I was truly only a submissive when Jensen demanded it, the atmosphere at Luminous always made it easier, like I slipped into a role that wasn’t pretend, just a deeper part of me I didn’t always show. I stepped next to Jensen as he led me to the bar, not stopping to talk to anyone until he had ordered us drinks and handed me a G&T.
As we sipped our drinks, my eyes wandered the large gathering space. It never failed to take my breath away. The glittering chandeliers and sparkling silvery drapery evoked a scintillating sensation in my nerves. Glasses clinked, laughter twinkled.
There was such a magical sense in the air when I stepped through the doors to Luminous. It was a place where everyone inside was truly able to release the stress of life, the burdens that weighed them down, and once they entered the doors, they were stripped down to their basic needs and desires.
It was liberating.
Tonight, the freedom fell on my shoulders like a heavy weight. Knowing my drink wouldn’t settle my nerves about the upcoming night, I set it on the bar and waited to gain Jensen’s attention from a gentleman he was speaking with. His name was Simon. The man was friendly and attractive, with dirty-blond hair styled to one side and thick, black-framed glasses. He wore an easy smile and dark clothing so tight it showed off his muscled, bulky frame. Simon was another Dom I’d been introduced to over the last several months. While he’d admitted to searching for a long-term sub, he hadn’t found anyone yet.
If only I had a friend, I’d set him up before my great-grandfather could shout, “Holy Saginaw!” I wiped my hands down my thighs and inhaled a calming breath while I waited.
Their conversation apparently done, Jensen’s head turned my way. A salacious grin stretched his lips. “Ready?”
Of course I was. When it came to Jensen, I was always ready.
“Yes, sir.”
“Ready for what?” Simon asked, quirking a brow and tilting his head. He glanced at me before focusing on Jensen.
“It’s Haley’s birthday,” Jensen explained, as if I weren’t in the room. I was used to it. In the presence of a Dom, most other Doms wouldn’t speak to a sub, especially one who was collared. And I didn’t think I was imagining the looks we’d been getting as people took in my new jewelry addition. “Tonight, she gets to decide where we play.”
“You’re playing? Publicly?”
“Yup. And if I’m correct, I believe my sub is getting antsy.”
He sent me a teasing wink and raised his hand. I slid my palm into his without thought.
As he led us away from Simon, I heard his low chuckle. “Now this, I’ve gotta see. Jensen letting his girl be watched? All eyes will be on you. You realize this?”
“I do.” Jensen’s hand around mine flinched.
He hated this. He was doing it for me. He hadn’t been wrong the first time he gave me a tour of this club. He had told me, so assuredly, that I would like being watched. After all the watching we’d done, I’d come to crave the idea of it. I wanted to be strapped to a St. Andrew’s cross and flogged like Miranda had been the first night. I had never pushed him for it, but it was a sacrifice for him to let other men and women feast their eyes on what he considered his.
And because I loved him, because he was willing to give me this, thinking I needed it, our sacrifice went both ways.
I would never demand it from him.
But it didn’t mean I hadn’t enjoyed teasing him with the anticipation of tonight.
I followed him upstairs to the first room but when he cocked a brow, asking me silently if I wanted to go in, I shook my head.
He scowled, but quickly hid it.
As we walked further down the hall, I squeezed his hand, stopping him before he reached a different room.