Page 107 of The Blood Traitor

Kiva threw out her arms, too shaken by everything that had just happened to filter her response. “You’re the one who wouldn’t look atme!You told me you wanted nothing to do with me — so Igaveyou that!”

“I lied.”

With those two words, every part of Kiva stilled, her anger vanishing into a strange numbness as she took in his honest, open expression. Then panic flooded her, and she shook her head firmly, taking a step backwards, her heart beginning to pound all over again. “You didn’t. You’re just confused. You — You hate me.”

Pain, raw and unmistakable, washed over Jaren’s features. He closed his eyes slowly, and when he opened them again, it was still there, haunting his gaze. “I could never hate you, Kiva.”

She shook her head again, adamant now, refusing to listen. “You do. And that’s — that’s fine. You don’t need to act like you don’t. After everything I did —”

“What did you do?” Jaren asked, moving a step closer.

Kiva’s mouth opened and shut, words failing her, because he knewexactlywhat she’d done. “I — Zuleeka — That night —”

Jaren cocked his head to the side. “Did you give your sister the amulet?”

Kiva jolted at the question, and then it was she who had to close her eyes, recalling the lies her sister had told in the River Room and the devastation on Jaren’s face. “No,” she answered, her voice turning hoarse. “I didn’t even know she’d stolen it from me. But —”

“Did you tell her about my magic, that I could wield all four elements?” Jaren interrupted, moving another step forward.

Kiva shifted backwards, but then she had to stop, the crevice too close behind her. “I —”

“Did you?” he pressed.

“No,” she said again. He’d trusted her with that secret, and she’d never told anyone, just as she’d promised.

“Did you help her steal the Book of the Law?”

Kiva curled in on herself, remembering how Tipp had been blamed for her sister’s actions. “No,” she rasped out.

He took another step toward her, his voice soft now. “Did you give her the dagger?”

This time Kiva could only stand there, shaking, and whisper, “Of course not. I had no idea what it was, or what it could do. I never wanted —” Her voice cracked, making her unable to finish.

But she didn’t have to, because Jaren was right in front of her now, whispering too as he asked, “Then why have you been blaming yourself for what happened?”

Kiva couldn’t stand to look into his tender, understanding eyes, knowing her heart wouldn’t handle what was sure to come once the shock of his near-death experience passed and he remembered everything she’d done, everything shewas.Her lips wobbled as she said, “I told her about the Royal Ternary. You losteverythingbecause of me.”

“Zuleeka didn’t give a damn about the Royal Ternary,” Jaren said. “You heard her that night — she’d always planned to get the Eye and use it on me.Thatwas her goal. And she herself admitted that she’d been planning to take Evalon for years without knowing about the Ternary. The information you shared just gave her an added incentive to speed up her timeline.”

“It also gave her themeans.Everything she did —”

“Was whatshedid,” Jaren interrupted firmly. “Zuleeka’s actions were not yours. Her choices were not yours. That night, your sister would have killed me if not for you. You saved my life. Why do you keep making yourself the villain in your own narrative?”

The question echoed in Kiva’s ears, but she couldn’t stop shaking herhead, tears blurring her vision. Words were beyond her now, but Jaren wasn’t finished. He reached out to touch his fingers beneath her chin, tilting her head back until she had no choice but to look at him, his gaze steady on hers as he asked in a quiet voice full of meaning, “When are you going to see that I don’t blame you for what happened that night?”

“You do,” Kiva croaked, unable to let him forget. “You do, and you should.”

“I was angry,” Jaren said, still quietly. “I was hurt. And you were the easiest person for me to take that out on. That was wrong of me, and I’m sorry. But what I told you in the desert wasn’t true. And what you said when you were on angeldust —” This time it was his voice that cracked, his expression ravished, as he whispered, “Not once, even on my worst days, did I hate you. Hearing you say that, knowing you didn’t want tolive—” The haunted look returned to his face. “I felt like I was being stabbed in the heart all over again.”

Even seeing the truth of his declaration, Kiva was too scared to believe him. “But I lied to you,” she whispered, her tears trickling steadily now, mixing with the sprinkles that were falling heavier around them. “You said — You said you fell in love with a lie.”

Jaren shifted forward until he was all she could see. “Ididfall in love with a lie, but that lie wasyou.I fell in love with you, Kiva. Iamin love with you. Then and now, nothing about that has changed — except now I know the real you.”

Kiva couldn’t listen, his words hurting too much. “Please, stop —” She held out her hand to keep him away, needing to remind him that he was wrong, needing to protect herself from the dangerous hope unfurling within her, like a flower opening beneath the sun. But there wasn’t enough room between them, and he grasped her fingers, pressing them to his chest, his strong hand covering hers.

“I was never angry that you lied to me,” Jaren said softly. “I was angry because you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.” Hiseyes were locked on hers, everything he was feeling clear for her to see. “Caldon knew all your secrets, and he still loved you. You never gave me that chance. After everything we’d been through together, you still didn’t trust me.That’swhy I was so upset. Not because of everything else beyond your control, not even because of the mistakes you made. But because you never really let me in. I gave you every part of me, and I thought you gave me every part of you, but the whole time, I didn’t even know who you really were.”

Upon hearing his declaration, the ground shook beneath Kiva again, but it wasn’t the mountain this time. It was from the realization that she had a decision to make. She could keep running away from him, guarding her heart so as to never risk such pain again. Or she could give Jaren what he’d just given her: the truth, messy and broken as it was.

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