Page 101 of The Blood Traitor

“I don’t know, but even if it doesn’t, I’m still a healer,” she said. “I could have helped him some other way.”

“Perhaps. But that would have required you unlocking your door,” he returned dryly.

Thatcaused Kiva’s cheeks to heat. “I needed time to think.”

“And did that time do you any good?”

While Caldon was speaking, Jaren stood, and, after nodding to Torell and ruffling Tipp’s hair, he left the table, smiling politely to the crew members he passed on his way toward the door.

Kiva’s mouth turned dry and her pulse kicked up speed, but she quickly answered Caldon’s question. “I’m about to find out.”

And then she pushed back her seat and hurried after the crown prince before she could change her mind.

Jaren was already halfway across the deck by the time she exited the captain’s quarters, moving swiftly enough that she had to call his name, prompting him to turn with clear surprise.

Kiva approached slowly. The night was dark, but the ship was lit by luminium lanterns that cast a soft glow across the wood, with moonlight reflecting off the white sails overhead. It was absurdly romantic, but she quashed that thought and concentrated on the speech she’d spent all day memorizing.

When she was only a few feet away, she stopped to gather herself, unconsciously taking in how his dark leathery armor fit him perfectly and highlighted his strong muscles and his —

No!Kiva scolded herself sharply, knowing now wasnotthe time to be admiring how good he looked. This was already going to be hard enough for her.

Summoning every ounce of her courage, she looked over his shoulder at the ocean and recited, “I want to apologize for what happened last night — for what I did, and for what I said.” She slid the topaz ring from her finger and handed it to him, careful not to touch his skin as she dropped it into his palm. “I know that must have been uncomfortable for you, not just the angeldust part because of everything with your mother — and just to say, I — well — you now know I’ve had some problems with it in my recent past” — she hugged her elbows awkwardly — “but I didn’t choose it because Iwantedto choose it. As I said last night, the Mystican saw it was one of my greatest fears, and she exploited that.” Kiva winced at the unspoken mention of what herothergreatest fear was, and hurried to add, “So to clarify, it’s not something I’m tempted to partake of willingly in the future, in case that’s a concern.”

Aware that she was flubbing her speech, she quickly went on, knowing the next part would be even more challenging. “As for everything I said about you, I think it’s best if we both try to forget, um, all of that.” She winced again at her poor articulation, before making herself meet his gaze. In the back of her mind, she noted that his face wasn’t blank and emotionless like it had been for most of their journey, but she couldn’t afford to think about that, and only said, with bald honesty, “Drugged or not, it wasn’t fair for me to heap that on you. You’ve made your feelings clear, and I fully respect what you told me. The last thing I want is your pity, so please don’t —” Her voice cracked, but she coughed and continued, stronger now, “I just think it’s best if we put it behind us, and move forward as if it never happened.” She took a fortifying breath and finished, repeating some of what Caldon had said earlier that day. “It’s a small ship, and even once we’re on dry land again, we still have to be near each other until this is all over. But I promise that once we have the rings, and Zuleeka and Navok are out of the picture, you’ll get your wish and never have to see me again.”

Kiva staunchly ignored the ache in her heart as she said the words, revealing nothing outwardly, even if she was weeping on the inside. She wouldn’t break down in front of him — she’d already experienced enough humiliation in his presence to last a lifetime.

With her speech done, she waited for his response, part of her wanting to flee before he could speak, but the other part aware that it was time for her to face her problems rather than run from them.

As luck would have it, Tipp chose that moment to bound out of the captain’s quarters, with the rest of their friends following more sedately behind. He skipped right over to Kiva and nestled into her side, looking up at her with worried eyes as he asked, “Are you f-feeling better?”

Emotion flooded her and she drew him closer. “Yeah, buddy. Thanks.”

It was true — and not just about her physical state. She felt lighternow that she’d confronted Jaren, even if he hadn’t had a chance to reply before they’d been interrupted. Perhaps it was better this way, she told herself. They each knew where the other stood, with her having made it clear that she wanted to ignore what had happened and move on. He would respect that; he would probably evenappreciatethat.

But even so, Kiva still intended to avoid him as much as possible until the day came when they could finally part ways. It was the only way she knew how to protect herself — fromhim.

With their conversation disrupted as the group pulled Jaren into a discussion about their sleeping arrangements and plans for the next day, Kiva felt no guilt in allowing Caldon to draw her away to train for the next few hours. They could have continued longer, but Cresta finally lost patience and dragged Kiva back to what was apparently their shared cabin. The redhead then proceeded to yell loudly — and at length — before forcing a promise from Kiva that she would never,evertake angeldust again. Only then did Cresta yank her into a rough hug, before flopping onto the second bed, rolling over, and promptly falling asleep.

Having rested for most of the day, Kiva struggled to do the same, remaining awake as the boat rocked beneath her. In an effort not to think about Jaren, she turned her mind to their quest for the rings, considering everything she knew about Sarana Vallentis while unconsciously fiddling with the amulet around her neck, her fingers running over the jewels in the crest. There was something about the Hand of the Gods that had begun to bother her of late, but every time she tried to figure out what it was, it eluded her, like an itch she couldn’t quite scratch. That night was no different, and no matter how hard she sought for clarity, none came. But her attempt helped calm her mind enough that she eventually felt the pull of sleep, and she didn’t resist when it finally claimed her.

Chapter Twenty-Five

True to her plan, Kiva managed to stay clear of Jaren for the next few days, spending most of her hours training on the upper deck with Caldon and even Ashlyn — the latter who, after imbuing the topaz ring with her power, had filled the amulet with both wind and earth magic. When the princess wasn’t attacking Kiva, she divided her attention between propelling the boat forward and practicing her windfunneling, capable now of relocating herself from the ship to the shore and back again. She still couldn’t travel anywhere near as far as Galdric, but she didn’t have to see her destination anymore, and she was moving further with every attempt.

Kiva’s own magical training was also seeing improvements, with her no longer needing to rely on happy memories, her power coming more instinctively and rapidly than ever before. It was easiest when facing Caldon’s flames, even against Ashlyn’s boulders and vines and everything else she created with her earth element. Her wind attacks, however... those would have knocked Kiva straight off the boat if not for the amulet’s protection. But an invisible opponent was exactly what Kiva needed to train against, since she was determined to be as prepared as possible by their return to Vallenia. Zuleeka was waiting — and Kiva would be ready.

During the few moments when she wasn’t training, Kiva spent her time checking on the horses, exploring the boat with Tipp, and comforting Eidran — thankfully, her magicdidheal seasickness, and he gratefully accepted her aid every time his nausea returned. She found that, like when they’d been riding together, she truly enjoyed being in the spy’s quiet, steadying company. It didn’t matter that she barely knew him —she had a feelingno onedid, and that was how he preferred it. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t a vital part of their group, or that he didn’t care for them all, in his own way. He just had a different kind of personality, prone to independence and solitude, rather than socializing just for the sake of fitting in. Too often people considered such a temperament to be strange or even rude, but Kiva saw it as a strength. Eidran knew who he was, and he embraced his autonomy with a contentment that she envied. It was effortless for her to sit with him in silence, the two of them lost in their thoughts, neither feeling the need to speak, just tobe.She always left his presence more settled than when she arrived — and given how troubled she felt most of the time, that was a true gift.

The days sped by as they traveled south through the Corin Sea, swiftly closing the distance between Hadris and Valorn. The warriors in the group — Naari, Eidran, Caldon, Jaren, Ashlyn, Torell, and Cresta — dedicated their waking hours to honing their fighting skills against both physical and magical attacks, with Cresta continuing to outshine them all. When Kiva asked her one night why she trained so fiercely, her only answer was to shrug and say, “There’s always going to be someone stronger than you. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

Kiva couldn’t fault her logic, even if she felt as if there was more to it than that. Something had changed in Cresta — she was no longer an outsider silently mocking their group; she was now fully integrated into it. Kiva had even caught her teaching Tipp the best way to slice open an opponent’s femoral artery, and while Kiva hadn’t been thrilled by the lesson itself, her heart had warmed at the patient, even thoughtful interaction between them.

Galdric was another person who had found his place in the group, if not as deeply as Cresta, with him having earned their collective respect from his tireless efforts to keep them moving swiftly forward. He’d also — tentatively — offered to tell Kiva stories about her mother, but she’d turned him down, not wanting to know about her rebel life. If Tilda trulyhad loved Kiva the way Galdric claimed, then Kiva wanted to remember the mother she’d known as a child before Zalindov, with nothing tainting those memories. Anything else, she could ask Torell for — but only when he wasn’t spending every available second with Ashlyn. The two of them were still dancing around each other, but it was obvious to everyone where they were heading.

Kiva was happy for her brother, even if her lonely heart gave a pang of longing every time she saw the two generals together. In each instance, she carefully kept from looking at Jaren, even during the moments when she felt his eyes on her — which was occurring more and more often. Despite her determination to avoid him, he repeatedly sought her out, but by some miracle, every time he did, she was in the middle of doing something or talking with someone, keeping him from saying whatever was on his mind. It was becoming clear that he didn’t agree with her desire to maintain distance between them, and she was growing frustrated by his attempts to approach her. As far as she was concerned, they’d both said everything that needed to be said, and him now wanting to saymorewas only making a hard situation worse. Because of that, she did everything she could to stay away from him — for his benefit as well as hers.

Finally, after four and a half days of being cooped up together on the ship, Galdric said they were close enough to Lyras to windfunnel the rest of the way. It took some time to gather their belongings and bring their horses up onto the deck, but as soon as they were ready to leave, Captain Temi and his crew came to see them off, waving hearty goodbyes when Galdric summoned his magic and swept them from the ship.

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