Page 60 of The Blood Traitor

“I don’t want to talk about Zuleeka.”

The words were sharp. And bitter.

Carefully, Kiva said, “I think maybe you should. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, but —”

“You’re right, you can’t,” he said, his knuckles tensing around his reins.

Kiva refused to leave it at that. They might have been separated for ten years, but before that, Torell had always been there for her — not just as her brother, but as her friend. Even after they’d been reunited, he’d repeatedly put her welfare above his own, to the point that he’d almost lost his life protecting her.

But she didn’t need protection fromhim. And she wasn’t willing to let him bottle up everything he was feeling until it festered, just so he could keep her from being burdened by his own heartache.

“She stabbed you, Tor,” Kiva said quietly. “And she was going to attack you with her death magic — which you never even knew about. I know that has to be weighing on you.”

“Kiva, I said I don’t want to —”

“I don’t care what you said,” she told him firmly. “You can ignore me all you want, but we’re stuck together for the foreseeable future, and one way or another, we’re going to have this conversation. My preference is now, but if you —”

“She nearlykilledme, Kiva,” Tor burst out, turning to her with a ravaged expression. “Our sister — our own flesh and blood. For years,she’s beenmurderingpeople, and I had no idea. She lied to me for over a decade — how do you think that makes me feel? How ashamed I am? HowguiltyI am? Their blood might as well be on my hands.”

“Tor,” Kiva whispered.

“Don’t,” he said hoarsely. “Don’t tell me it’s not my fault. I should have known — I should havestoppedher. If I had, none of this would have happened. And maybe Mother —” He broke off, but not quickly enough to hide his agony.

Kiva knew what he’d been about to say:Maybe Mother would still be alive.

“Listen to me,” she said fiercely, moving as close as Zephyr would allow. “Zuleeka kept her power hidden for a reason — she didn’twantyou to know. So while I understand wanting to blame yourself” — that was an understatement, given her own torturous feelings — “you’re not responsible foranythingshe did. And as for Mother...” Kiva made sure she had Tor’s full attention before she went on, “The moment she used death magic for the first time, that was the beginning of the end for her. There’s nothing you could have done.”

“But I —”

“No buts,” Kiva said. “What you’re feeling is valid, but it’s alsowrong.” Her voice gentled as she said, “You’re a good person, Tor. And if you don’t believe me, answer this: if you could have kept Zuleeka from hurting anyone, would you have?”

Tor looked incredulous. “Of course! I already said I —”

“Then instead of feeling guilt and shame,” Kiva spoke over him, “hold on to that. Because more than anything else, that reveals your integrity — and your heart.”

Torell opened his mouth, but then closed it again, his expression thoughtful as he considered Kiva’s words. Finally, he admitted, “Maybe you were right.”

“I often am,” Kiva said. “But about what, specifically?”

“I needed to talk about this,” Tor said. “Even if I didn’t want to.”

“Hard conversations are never easy,” Kiva said.

Tor snorted. “That’s a terrible sentence.”

Kiva was relieved to see his humor, weak as it was.

But then Tor sobered and said, “It’s going to take time to reconcile how I feel, but I promise I’ll try. And I don’t know what it says about me, but it helps knowing Zuleeka’s going to pay for what she’s done. She might be our sister, but actions have consequences, and one day soon she’s going to learn that.”

His voice was so hard toward the end that Kiva shivered, remembering that there was a reason he was the rebel general, and it wasn’t because of his friendly demeanor.

Thinking it best to change the topic, Kiva said, “Is anything else on your mind?” She then added, “I haven’t had the chance to ask how you feel about Galdric being, well,alive.”

Tor’s gaze shifted to the man in question, who was riding far enough ahead to be out of hearing range. “Honestly? I’m not sure what to feel.”

“You were close, once, weren’t you?”

“I thought so,” Tor answered. “But since he was also lying to me that whole time, he’s not my favorite person right now. If he’d told me about Zuleeka’s magic years ago, then —” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “I can’t change the past. But I can still be annoyed by it.”

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