“I’m sorry,” she said croakily. “I just — I thought you — I wasn’t sure if — And then you —”
“I get it,” Caldon cut her off. “And honestly, I’d planned to make youwork harder for it. But you just looked so pathetic standing there with those puppy-dog eyes and the weight of the world on your shoulders. It was impossible not to put you out of your misery.”
It took great effort for Kiva not to start crying again. “I was scared you’d hate me. Like J-Jaren.” She stumbled over his name, as if there was a dagger caught in her throat.
“Jaren doesn’t hate you.”
Kiva shut her eyes, wishing that were true, but remembering his burning gaze. How he’d walked straight past her. How he couldn’t evenlookat her. “He does.”
“All right, maybe a little,” Caldon acknowledged, plunging that dagger deeper. “But mostly, he hates himself.”
The declaration caused Kiva’s eyes to snap open again.
“What?” she breathed.
“He hates that he trusted you,” Caldon said, his face serious. “He hates that he fell in love with you. He hates everything that happened — and he blames himself more than anyone. Including you.”
He hates that he fell in love with you.
The pain of those words slashed straight through Kiva, enough for Caldon to read it in her expression.
His own features softened as he said, “You’ve got some work ahead of you, Sweet Cheeks. I won’t lie.”
Kiva’s throat bobbed. “I know.”
“There’s some good news, though,” he went on, and Kiva looked up at him, unsure whether to risk feeling any kind of hope. “I’ve spent the last ten weeks filling him in on your... family situation,” Caldon said. “I can’t promise it did much good, but I explained everything I knew, and how you told Zuleeka you wanted nothing to do with the rebels.”
Kiva toed the dirt. “I still gave her everything she needed to —”
“You made mistakes, no one is denying that,” Caldon interrupted. “And you’re going to pay for them, trust me. But just... give him time.Deep down he knows you had nothing to do with that night, not intentionally. He’ll come around — eventually.” He paused. “And if it makes you feel any better, he was furious at me for not telling him about you. Took him weeks to forgive me.” Caldon scratched his jaw. “Actually, he’s still pretty mad. But he’s speaking to me again, so that’s progress.”
Kiva grimaced. “I’m sorry for the position I put you in. I never meant to —”
“Quit saying sorry,” Caldon said, frowning. “I made my own choices, just as you did. I chose to believe in you, even knowing that it could end badly. But despite that, I wasn’t wrong — because you were exactly the person I thought you were all along. And I don’t regret trusting you.” His face darkened as he said, “That sister of yours, though...”
Kiva grabbed his hands and held his stormy gaze as she said, with feeling, “I’m going to make this right. I promise.”
Caldon linked their fingers and said, “We’regoing to make this right. None of this ‘I’ business. You can’t just run off on your own again and stay gone for months, you hear me? I looked everywhere for you that first week, practically turned Vallenia inside out before I realized you must have fled the city. And then we had to leave —” He stopped suddenly, before asking, “Where the hell have you been, anyway?” Squinting at her, he added, “And what are you wearing? You look like someone’s grandmother.” He thumbed the ruffles of her apron, causing her to swat his hand away.
“I —” Kiva hesitated, realizing Caldon had no idea she’d been back in Zalindov. That meant Cresta must not have said anything — or she hadn’t yet had the chance. Instead of responding, Kiva asked, “My brother and Cresta, what are they doing here? Why are they tied up?”
Caldon’s golden eyebrows shot upward. “You’re kidding, right?”
Kiva matched his look, waiting for an answer.
The prince huffed out an amused breath, and said, “Your brotheris the Jackal — the general of the rebel forces. What did you expect us to do?”
“You knew that before, and you didn’t arrest him,” Kiva pointed out. “In fact, you were attracted to him, last I heard.”
Caldon grinned, a wide flash of white in the darkness. “Trust me, that will never change.” He then sobered and said, “There was nothing I could do for him. He showed up here tonight and surrendered himself to the soldiers at the front gate. Said he didn’t care what we did to him as long as we helped find you.”
Kiva jerked.
“He’d barely said his name before he was taken into custody, the redhead with him.” Caldon cocked his head to the side, a new light entering his eyes. “Cresta, is it? She’s a real firecracker.”
There was admiration in his voice, enough for Kiva to wonder if she should warn him away from the ex-quarrier or let him figure it out on his own. She decided to stay on task and said, “Why did Tor come here looking for me?”
“No idea,” Caldon answered. “We were just about to start questioning him when you arrived. You and —” He locked his jaw and turned to stare into the forest.