Page 33 of Of Mercury and Mist

“Ashley,” Andy groaned.

Karissa stared at me, bewildered. “What?”

Where should I start? How to explain why I’d lost my mind and screwed up so bad felt impossible. I really didn’t have a good explanation. How was I supposed to explain I’d never meant to take her key card and that I was the idiot who’d left my photo shoot stuff downstairs and grabbed the wrong things? It was all my fault because I’d made an irresponsible mistake at the most tyrannical company anyone ever heard of.

“I’m a total asshole and I don’t have a good excuse. I’ve been stressed out over work things and forgot my stuff downstairs and grabbed the wrong things. I’m truly sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

Mike spoke up. “I don’t care how much stress you go through—you don’t screw with people’s jobs. If you were a guy, I’d punch you for doing that to her.”

“Come on, man, you don’t have to threaten her,” Andy defended me. “It was an honest mistake.”

“No, he’s right. It was stupid. I know how they are there,” I said quietly.

“But you don’t. They don’t know what you go through, and Mike is being a dick.”

“And you do know?” I shook my head. “None of you know.”

Karissa sighed. “Let’s not ruin this nice day, please?”

We all looked to her and she bit her lip, her eyes darting under our perusal. “It's messed up this all happened, but they would’ve fired me if anyway. It wasn’t supposed to be left there. So, it's not that big of a deal. Mike, you’re acting like?—”

“She made you lose your job,” he interrupted.

“A job I didn’t even want,” she snapped. “She did me a favor. I would’ve just stayed there the rest of my life and I didn’t even like that job.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Guys, I learned my lesson, okay?” I took a breath and met Mike’s glare. “I talked to Josiah; he’s letting me step down to part time.”

Karissa’s eyebrows shot up. "Wow, that's unexpected. See? If it's okay with him, it's not that big of a deal."

Mike huffed and chucked his sandwich down on his paper plate. “Whatever,” he grumbled.

“Bro, calm down,” Andy said.

“I really am sorry. I don’t know what else to say,” I quietly apologized.

Karissa reached across the table for my hand and my eyes smarted. The girl was way too kind for this planet and Mike was being a total dick. “It's over don’t worry about it. You did the right thing by telling me and I appreciate your honesty. The guys are being stupid and Ipomoea sucks. Let it go.”

“Thank you,” I replied, my voice catching in my throat.

She patted my hand as Mike glared at me but some of the tension was broken when Mike, or Ike as we’d started referring to him as, showed up.

The man sauntered over, as attractive as I expected, although perhaps slightly younger. He had shaggy light brown hair that dangled in front of sky-blue eyes and wore a long coat that flapped behind him as he walked, the tone nearly matching that of his curls.

Vaguely, I listened while Mike tried to convince Karissa to allow the man to design a gown for her, my thoughts still weighing heavy. The tension had mostly lifted upon Ike’s arrival, but my confession still dangled in the air. I felt separated, cut off from my friend group, an observer on the outside, looking in.

In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have said anything and now I wasn’t sure why I had. It was probably a guilt complex held over from my efforts to live a more honest life than I had in my youth.

They were all talking, catching up, while I sat there quietly, fiddling with the remnants of my hotdog roll. “Guys, I’m going to go over to the water.”

No one heard me.

ELEVEN

Ashley

As tough as it was, I was going to have to accept things would be uncomfortable for me for a little while. It would pass once I made the necessary changes.

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