Page 93 of Aftertaste

He laughed, held up a hand.

“Can I go first? Please? I’ve been working up the courage and I’m afraid I’ll lose my nerve.”

Maura bit her lip, hard enough to focus through the Hunger. “Sure.”

“Okay.” He took a breath, his neck going pink beneath his collar. “Right.I love you, Maura. And I want to share everything with you. My whole life. I asked you here tonight because I wanted to share DUH”—he swept his arm out toward the kitchen—“with you, too. And I said I had a surprise, but it’s more of a question, really.”

Maura’s heart pounded. Did he want them to move in together? A wedding? A life? They were things she’d wanted one day, too, with him—with only him—but which seemed impossible now.

“And I know there’s stuff in your past that you don’t talk about,” he continued, lifting a plastic shopping bag up onto the counter, “but it doesn’t scare me. I’ve thought a lot about this. And I want to help. I want to get you the closure you need. To let go. To move on.” He reached into the bag and removed a package of Reese’s Cups. “To be free of Everleigh, and whatever her death has done to you. I think we should bring her back again. Tonight. Give up that ghost, once and for all. You in?”

Maura went pale. Whatever she’d imagined, it hadn’t been this. Summoning Ev was the exact opposite of what they should be doing. The very thing that had gotten them into this mess.

“We can’t,” she gasped.

“Sure we can.”

“Stan, you don’t understand—”

“Hey,” he said gently, “I get it. It’s scary. But you can trust me. It’ll be fine; I’ve really gotten the hang of—”

“It’s not fine!” she shouted. “You have no idea how broken things are!”

“What are you talking about?”

“We messed up, Stan. You. And me. There are so many things I wish I could take back.”

He came around the counter, slow, like he was afraid she’d startle away.

“Maura? You’re freaking me out.”

She blinked at him, her breath shallow. Coming hot and fast.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Just the words every guy wants to hear.”

“About the ghosts you raised. About the Afterlife. About a lot of things.” She blinked, and a stream of thick, hot tears rolled down her face. She pushed them back with the heel of her hand. “It’s a long story.” Her voice was shaking. “You should sit down.”

He pulled up the chair beside her. Sat.

“Um, okay?”

“I just need you to listen,” she said. “Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“God, will you still say that when you know?” She shook her head, smeared more tears across her face. “No, it doesn’t matter. Just let me get it out. All of it.”

The 6 Train flashed past then, bathing them in ghostly light.

“The first time I died,” she began, “it was an accident.”

HARD TO SWALLOW

MAURA TOLD HIMeverything.

How she died. How she came back. How the first time had been an accident, and the second a choice, and the third a bad mistake. How she’d contracted a Hunger, and how nothing she tried would feed it.

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