Page 55 of You Started It

“He did all that to rile you up and it obviously worked,” I say, trying to think fast on my feet. “He’s not interested in Olivia.”

“Open your eyes, Jamie. The guy’s a flirt. Whenever you’re not around, he’s surrounded by girls.”

“So what?” I ask, stepping in front of Axel, toe-to-toe with Ben. “I’m confident enough in my relationship with Axel that I don’t freak out anytime he speaks to other girls.Hecan control himself.”

“You’re blinded by his so-called charm. This guy isn’t who he pretends to be. He’s just using you.”

“Excuse me?” I say, trying to ignore the tension growing not only between Ben and Axel but also in my neck.

“Why don’t you just go home?” Axel says to Ben.

“What reason would Axel have to use me?” I say, challenging Ben.

“To be his videographer. To drive him to school. To introduce him to people. It’s so obvious.”

“Jamie doesn’t even know anyone!” Axel says in a weird attempt to defend me.

“Go home, Ben. No one wants you here,” I say, my voice rising at his false accusations.

“I’m just trying to look out for you,” he says, holding out his hands. “The guy’s trouble.”

“This guy,” I say, now standing side by side with Axel, “has been nothing but supportive and encouraging. He makes me laugh. He listens when I speak. He takes me out on fun dates. And,” I say, straightening, “he makes me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

“So he’s a good lay?”

“Screw you,” I reply before pressing my hands up against Ben’s chest and pushing him.

Axel wraps an arm around my waist, holding me back from pushing Ben again. “He’s not worth it, Jamie. Ignore him.”

“Yeah.” Ben chuckles. “Ignore me. You’ve been doing a real good job at it so far.” He stumbles backward, pointing a finger at Axel. “There’s something shady about that guy, Jamie.”

“You’re just angry I’m not holed up in my room crying about you breaking my heart. Get over yourself, Ben. I have.”

Ben opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He lifts his shoulders, then turns before making the short trek back to his house. I exhale a tired breath before facing Axel.

“Sorry about that.”

“You don’t need to apologize for him,” Axel says.

“Was Ben telling the truth though?” I ask, sucking in my cheeks. “Did you flirt with Olivia on the ride?”

“I was testing her,” Axel responds. “I wanted to see how committed she actually was to Ben. Turns out she’s pretty committed.”

A quiet laugh escapes me. “I’ll say.”

“So.” The corners of Axel’s lips turn up. “I make you feel things you’ve never felt before?”

“Oh.” My cheeks burn as I tuck a wet piece of hair behind my ear. “Ben just knows how to get under my skin, so I had to hit him with something that would make him jealous. Anyway, you were saying something before Ben showed up,” I remind him.

He shakes his head ever so slightly, his grin fading. “It can wait. I’m tired and am in desperate need of a shower.” A strained smile comes out. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Okay,” I say. A sudden and deep sadness knots my chest and I don’t know if it’s because of Ben or because of how the light that flickered between Axel and me tonight has now dimmed. He watches as I get into my car. From my rearview mirror, I see Ben on the edge of his driveway, glaring at Axel. I don’t want to go but I can’t stay here. It feels like I’m running away from something real. Something I’m not sure I’m ready for yet.

I’m stuck between who I used to be and who I’m pretending to be.

One thing I know for sure is, I need to find myself. Whoever she is. And fast.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

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