Page 49 of You Started It

He huffs out a laugh. “That’s definitely not the case with me. I’ve been doing chores since the first grade. And I have to earn an allowance. In some ways, my parents were a lot easier with my sisters than they are with me. Although, I’m sure my sisters would beg to differ.”

“I think people sometimes only notice what they want to notice. The things that usually affect them,” I say, my eyes meeting with Axel’s. “Your dad is kind of tough on you, isn’t he?”

Axel exhales as he runs his hands up and down his thighs. “He just expects a lot.”

I glance around his room. There’s a shelf above his desk lined with soccer trophies and ribbons from swimming classes. I stand again and inspect the gold plaque positioned in the middle of his sports awards. “You were valedictorian of your elementary school?”

“Yeah. Is that so surprising?”

“Yes!” I laugh. “I thought you were…well, I didn’t think grades were that important to you.”

“Why? Because I like to dance?”

“Pretty much.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re pretty judgmental?”

I raise my shoulders. “All the time.” Axel shakes his head and laughs. “Maybe it’s because I saw you as this rising social media star. And that takes time and effort. Plus, you work with my uncle. I didn’t think it left you with the kind of desire or energy to be good at much else. Clearly, I was wrong.”

He leans back on his bed, resting his head on his bent arms. “Yeah, it’s not easy being perfect.”

I grab the pillow out from underneath his head and smack him in the face with it.

“Hey now,” he says, securing the pillow safely away from me. He points to his face. “This is a moneymaker. Please treat it with respect.”

I roll my eyes and lie next to him. He smells like pine trees and apricots. A weird combination, but on Axel, it works. I like being close to Axel. Even if it makes my heart race sometimes, it’s a good racing. A feeling I can’t seem to stop chasing. “So, what should I expect from your family at dinner?”

He shifts on his side, propping his head up with his hand. His smile is sweet and the gold chain around his neck falls to the side, drawing my eyes to his bronze skin. “Dad will be mostly silent.Observing. Mom will smile a lot. Chrissy, she’s the middle sister, will ask you a lot of questions. Susannah, the oldest, will find any opportunity to either drag me or talk me up. Depends on what day of her cycle she’s on.”

“Axel!” I say, matching his pose. “You can’t say stuff like that.”

“I would never say that to you, my pretend girlfriend, but my sisters are fair game. They had me buying them pads and tampons as soon as I was allowed to ride my bike to the store.”

“Sounds like you guys are tight.”

“We are,” Axel says. “They’ll love you. I think my mom already does.”

“They love pretend Jamie. The real me, probably not so much.”

“Why do you say that?” he asks, his thick brows knitted together.

“Because I come from a broken family. Because my mom raised me without any ties to my culture. Because my uncle is gay.”

“Hey.” Axel shakes his head. “My parents are accepting of all people.”

“I’m sorry. My mom’s gotten it in my head over the years that Arabs have prehistoric mindsets when it comes to women and the LGBTQIA+ community. I only recently started pushing back on her own self-hating ways and it’s caused a lot of tension between us.”

“Is that because of me?” he asks.

“You may have been the catalyst, but the issues have always been there, simmering.”

“It’s not too late, you know.”

“What isn’t?” I ask.

Axel sits up and I follow. “To learn about where you come from. To interact with the community. To speak on Palestine. I’ve been to a couple protests myself. The energy is electric. Everyone makes it out to be like the world is against Arabs, but when wecome together, for a cause, like Palestine or Syria, we’re fierce. We’re strong. We’re unstoppable.”

“You’re amazing,” I say aloud, without realizing. I half expect Axel to grin while running his fingers through his hair in an obnoxious way. Instead, he blushes.

---