Page 35 of You Started It

“Sorry,” he says, looking up at a confused Ben. “This seat’s taken. There’s a free spot next to Jamie.”

Ben stands there, at a loss for words. Not one to draw attention to himself in a public place, Ben sits in the empty seat next to me and pulls the bars over his head. Olivia glances back at us, peeved. Or maybe that’s just her face.

“Did you put him up to this?” Ben asks.

“No. He just thinks he’s being funny, I guess.”

Ben lets out a small smile. “So, you’re really going to do this?”

“Yeah.” I wiggle a bit in my seat. “I went on two roller coasters already. This will be my third. Axel really pushes me outside my comfort zone, but not in an aggressive way,” I backtrack. Come tothink of it, I haven’t had any stomachaches tonight and my palms aren’t aching with fingernail indentations. But Ben’s face falls slightly at my admission. “This is my first roller coaster with loops though.”

The dimple on his left cheek appears and I bite down on my lip at the sight of it. “I’m honored to be sharing this first with you.”

A muffled voice comes out over the speaker, warning us to keep our hands inside at all times. I grip the metal handles on the chest bar and try to breathe.

“Hey,” Ben says, his voice filled with warmth. “If you get scared, I’m right here.” He opens his hand and I take it before nodding.Sweet victory.Axel looks back at us and I raise my brows. His eyes go right to my hand in Ben’s and instead of wiggling his brows at me like I’d expected, he faces forward.

The chest bar pressed against my lungs makes taking deep breaths feel almost impossible as we climb the first lift hill. The rattling noise of our car as it makes its ascent does not settle my nerves. I know it will soon be followed by a fast drop and then my first-ever loop.

“It’ll be over before you know it. It’s easier if you close your eyes,” Ben says.

I nod slightly, because that’s all I can manage with this suffocating chest guard, and grip his hand even tighter once we reach the top of the hill. After a sudden drop we descend quickly into our first loop, then a second, and that’s when I open my eyes. It’s dark but the lights from the park make me feel like I’m on another planet. Lost somewhere between space and time. I release Ben’s hand and raise my arms to the sky for the banked turns, allowing myself to scream and laugh with the wind.

The ride comes to an abrupt stop and I catch my breath. I want so badly for Axel to turn around and see the look of pure elation on my face, but he remains focused up front.

“You did it,” Ben says. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you scream that loud before.”

“I don’t think I have screamed that loud before. It was kind of freeing.” Excitement continues to pulse through me. I can’t wait to tell Axel all about it.

“Hey, Jamie,” Ben says as we pull into our stop.

“Yeah,” I say, slightly distracted, my eyes on Axel’s head.

Our chest bars release and we lift them off. I unbuckle the seatbelt and Ben’s fingers trace over my hand, still resting between us.

I freeze up at the sudden touch, words unable to form at my lips. Olivia clears her throat to get Ben’s attention. He jolts his hand away. We both bolt up, parting ways, acting as if we’re just two strangers who sat next to one another on a ride. I race down the ramp, leaving Ben and Olivia behind, to find Axel.

“That was amazing,” I say, grabbing Axel’s arms and jumping up and down when I spot him at the bottom of the exit ramp. “It kind of felt like having a panic attack but in a good way.”

His tight-lipped grin turns into a smile and I pull him in for a hug. It’s weird, but even though Axel isn’t tall like Ben, which I love(d), our bodies kind of fit together perfectly. I don’t feel small with him like I thought I would. I feel safe.

“He’s gone,” Axel says, leaning back as Ben and Olivia pass. “You don’t have to hug me anymore.”

“That’s not why…I mean…it must have been the adrenaline or something.” I shrug it off. “So, ready to film that last TikTok?”

He lifts his shoulders slightly. “It’s fine. We can forget about it.”

“No way, Tahini. The deal was you’d accompany me to Wonderland and I would film two TikToks for you. See? This is why a contract is so important. Makes sure neither of us gets screwed. Let’s go,” I say, grabbing his hand.

“Dah-ini,” he corrects me, softening ever so slightly.

“Fun fact: tahini gives me stomachaches.”

“And what do I give you?” he asks.

“The jury is still out on that one.” I manage to make him smile again. It’s kind of like winning a prize every time I do. “So…‘Baby’?” I ask, as we make our way to the front of the park.

“Yes, darling?” Axel responds, eyebrows pinched together.

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