Page 17 of You Started It

CHAPTER FIVE

It’s Tuesday, the first day of school, and for the first time since starting Maple View High, I won’t be walking through the front doors with Ben. I’m seated at the kitchen table with Mom and Amo Eli. Not wanting to draw any attention to my current state, I have my phone opened to my favorite book. Rereading it helps ease some of my nerves. At least I know how this story ends.

“I like your friend,” Amo Eli says as he pushes the bowl of cereal Mom put out for me closer. But I can’t risk another stomachache. I’m anxious enough as it is. I don’t need lactose aiding me.

“He’s a hard worker,” Amo Eli goes on.

I look up from my phone to find both my mother and uncle staring at me. “How could you possibly know that already? You spent one day with him, training in an empty restaurant.”

“What friend?” Mom asks. She takes a slow, controlled sip of her coffee.

“Jamie didn’t tell you? She made a friend.” Eli tilts his head and smiles at me.

“Jamie tells me nothing,” my mother says, as if I’m not literally sitting across from her.

I exhale and take a big gulp of my orange juice before wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “He’s new. And I just agreed to show him around.”

“He’s cute,” Eli says to my mother with a knowing grin.

“He’s in eleventh grade. And boys mature at a slower rate than girls. That’s not me being sexist. It’s science.”

“So?” My uncle stands and glares down at me before collecting the dishes. “Eric is three years younger than me. Anyway, this kid has more style in his pinky than Benjamin could ever dream of.”

“I don’t think we should be coming down on Ben,” Mom says, also rising from the table. “Lucy is one of our closest friends.”

“Yes, but Jamie is my favorite niece.” My uncle winks at me, but I’m too riled up at Mom’s response to appreciate his kind words.

“Then you’re taking Ben’s side?” I ask her. “Did you know that he’s dating someone else?”

“No,” Mom says, her shoulders dropping.

“Already?” Amo Eli replies, turning from the sink.

“Yes. Already. So I really don’t care about protecting his feelings, since he clearly didn’t care about protecting mine when he blindsided me.”

Mom lowers her head, shaking it slightly before pouring the rest of her coffee into the sink. My uncle playfully shoves her away while he does the dishes. She turns to face me again. “Hey,” she says, her voice oozing fake cheerfulness. “It’s the first day of your senior year and you’ve already made a new friend. Things are looking up.”

“Right. And with that encouraging pep talk, I’ve got to run.” Leaving behind my soggy, uneaten breakfast, I head to the front door, backpack in hand. I slide into my Converse sneakers, which Amo Eli has lined up for me, and make my way to my car. If I can just go through the motions and not ruminate over everything that’s happened, I may be able to get through today without completely breaking down. Once in the driver’s seat, I take a deep breath and release it slowly as I turn the engine on.

You’re fine. You’re not going to get a stomach attack. You didn’t even have breakfast. It’s all in your head.

I’ve got this. I’ve got this. I’ve got…nothing. I don’t even have a plan. I’m basically heading into a war zone without any weapons, just some curly-haired kid with fancy feet.

A few minutes later, I turn onto Ben’s street. Olivia’s car is parked out front of his house again. She’s waiting in her car, filming something on her phone. She posts something like five hundred stories a day and they’re all fifteen-second glimpses into her superficial life. Yesterday she chronicled her Labor Day at the beach with Ben. Can’t lie: seeing Ben in his trunks lying on the sand next to Olivia made me feel some kind of way. Like a wanting-to-punch-a-wall kind of way.

I squeeze my eyes shut as a stomach cramp zaps through my lower abdomen. The beach would be a nightmare location for someone like me. It’s probably why we never went together. Ben must find it refreshing to be dating a girl who doesn’t need to take inventory of the nearest toilet every time they go somewhere new.

When I pull up to Axel’s house, his twisted-up bike is perched against the garage. It looks worse than I remember. He comes out just as I’m about to text him. We exchanged numbers over DMs last night. His mom follows him out the door, like the two of them have just stepped out of some family sitcom from the eighties.

Axel opens the car door and he widens his eyes as he forces a smile. “Mom, this is Jamie.”

His mom bends down to catch a glimpse of me through the open passenger door. Should I get out of the car? Shake her hand? Before I can decide what to do, Axel slides into the front seat. His mom is still bent over, staring at me with a wide grin.

“Hi,” I finally say. “I’m Jamie.”

“I already said that,” Axel says as he buckles his seatbelt.

His mother slaps his shoulder. “Don’t be rude. She’s beautiful,” Axel’s mom says, as if I’m not sitting right here. I must have some sort of cloak of invisibility on me today or something.

---