Page 117 of You Started It

“Jamie T-F, I love you more than I love shawarma sandwiches. More than I love Betty White. More than I love dancing.”

“Does this mean you’ll be my real boyfriend?” I ask, holding back the very strong urge to kiss him right here.

Axel rubs the tip of his nose with mine, smiling that irresistible smile, and I’m a goner. There’s no holding back. I bring my lips to his and kiss him with everything inside me. All the doubt, pain, fear, love, joy, hope I’ve been holding onto for the last four months, for my entire life, is released with what is probably the best kiss of my life…well, maybe it ties with the kiss under the rainbow, and all the ones that followed.

Because every kiss with Axel has been the best kiss of my life.

Feeling his arms around me, the warmth of his body, his scent, fills me back up. This moment is not something I could have ever put on a list. It’s not something that can be contrived. It’s spontaneous. It’s unpredictable. It’s real. It’s now.

It’s love.

And no check mark can compete with that feeling.

We pull apart and Axel grins. “You have a funny way of showing your feelings.”

“Someone said that to me once,” I say, rubbing the tip of my nose with his again.

“Do we need to sit down and discuss the terms and conditions of our union?” Axel asks.

“To be quite honest with you, I’ve had it with contracts, rules, and stipulations.”

“Does that make you a free agent? Because I may have a problem with that,” he says, squinting at me.

“I guess there’s room to negotiate,” I say.

“I’m very good at negotiating.”

“Axel,” Finn shouts from the stage as a new song begins.

“My people are demanding to see me,” he says, before planting a fast kiss on my lips and getting on stage with his friends. They dance to “How Dare You Want More” by Bleachers and the entire senior class hops up and down, singing along, except me.

As the chorus plays, the lyrics speak to me in a way they probably wouldn’t have months ago. When a song was just a song. Then Axel forced me to slow down and really listen to the words. I did dare to want more. But the “more” I was after was all about checking items off a list without stopping to enjoy any of the experiences. It was constantly moving goal posts. Being with Axel taught me to enjoy all the moments—big and small—in real time. The roller coasters, the dancing, the falling in love, forgiveness, and moving forward without leaving others behind.

“Jamie,” Axel calls from the stage, his arm extended. He has the most adorable look on his face. I take his hand and pull him off the stage to where I’m standing. He stumbles slightly and wraps his arms around me to ground himself. Finn and Diesel continue dancing on stage, no apparent choreography anymore. Just freestyling it like everyone else.

“I changed my mind,” I say, shouting over the music again.

“About what?” Axel asks.

“I think we do need some new rules.”

“Hit me,” he says, as the stage fills up with people dancing and filming themselves and one another.

“Rule one,” I say, fighting back a smile. “You need to call me out when I’m being hard-headed.”

“I can do that.” He crosses his arms over this chest. “Next.”

“Rule two: you must also embrace my chaotic energy. And yes, that means you will sometimes have to cancel out rule one.”

“Got it.” He nods, trying but failing to keep a serious expression.

“Rule three—and this is a big one: if you can’t agree to this then I don’t think we have a future,” I say, sucking in my lips to fight a grin. “No matter how terrible or embarrassing I am, I get to be your number-one dance partner.”

Axel shakes his head and then nods. “I don’t only agree to that rule,” he says, before uncrossing his arms and pulling me toward him, “I insist on it.”

We kiss with the music blasting above us, our entire senior class dancing around us, and the most spectacular view of Toronto surrounding us.

“Last rule,” I say, pulling apart slightly from Axel. “You have to always kiss me like that.”

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