Page 113 of You Started It

“Um. Yeah.” I swallow and nod at them. “I’m going up.” After another minute of waiting, the doors open and I pause. “Wait. What do I press when I’m in there?”

“I control the elevator from out here. All you have to do is enjoy the ride and view.”

“Right. Okay.” Realizing I can’t stall any longer, I step inside. My heart starts to run a marathon. Already I feel the walls closing in on me. Half the floor is made of glass and the elevator itself is comprised mostly of windows. I’m sure the view would be amazing if I didn’t want to piss myself. But hey, I did it. I’m inside. And in sixty seconds I will have officially killed the Kill-It List.

The doors begin to close and I lean back against one wall, my feet on solid ground, when the doors slowly reopen. My stomach sinks, the first cramp making its annoying appearance. Technical issues already? This can’t be a good sign. But then the scent of chicken shawarma fills the elevator, and Axel steps inside.

“Mind if I ride up with you?” he asks, his cheeks red, hair a mess. “Or is this something you wanted to do alone?”

I glance past Axel’s shoulder to see if the CN Tower employee is annoyed, but they couldn’t look less interested in what’s going on.

“Sure. I mean, I don’t want you to think I need you here but—” My breath catches. Axel blinks and his gaze meets with mine. “I want you here.”

Axel smothers a grin before stepping in farther. The doors finally close and the ride up the tower begins. My hands are balled into tight fists, my breathing steady but quick. Axel leans up against the wall opposite me, the glass floor between us.

It’s quiet and I want to ask him a million questions, but my mind is in overdrive. Minutes from now I’m supposed to get up in front of my entire senior class and…dance? What the hell made me think this was a good idea? I was so focused on Axel being here, and now that he is, it’s all wrong. It’s not at all—

A screeching noise pulls me out of my thoughts as my eyes meet with Axel’s. His deer-in-the-headlights’ expression does not bring me the comfort I’m seeking. The elevator stops, but there’s one problem—the view of Toronto is still in front of us. We’re suspended halfway up. We’re…“Are we stuck?” I ask, on the verge of hyperventilating.

Axel shakes his head. “No. There’s no way.” He straightens and eyes the panel.

“Hello?” A voice comes out over the speaker.

“We’re stuck!” I yell back.

“I understand that,” the CN Tower employee responds calmly. “This happens occasionally on windy or cold days. I’ve dispatched for help. Just stay still and remain calm.”

“How long?” I blurt out, now standing under the speaker, as if that will make a difference.

“Approximately fifteen minutes. Half an hour, tops.”

“Half an hour?” I silently mouth, frozen in place.

“If you need anything, press the red call button. I’m just below you, and you’re on camera, so we’re keeping an eye on everything. It will be over before you know it.”

“Easy for you to say with all that space and air surrounding you,” I say, my arms flying up.

“Miss, are you going to be okay in there?”

“Yes,” Axel says, his voice directly behind me. “I’ll make sure she is.”

“How?” I ask, nodding my head up and down. I know I’m losing it. I can feel myself losing it, and I know that losing it will not help with…any…thing…I…can’t…breathe.

My head drops and my knees weaken. My vision starts to blur as Axel’s arm wraps around my waist.

“Let’s sit, okay?” he says, his eyes big and trying their best to be reassuring, but how can I be reassured when I am currently living through my biggest nightmare? Except, I never imagined it happening with Axel next to me. Thank god he is. If I were in here alone, stuck…I don’t even want to let my mind go there.

I nod slightly while my breathing continues to intensify. We slide down the wall together until we’re both seated on the floor. I tuck my knees to my chest, too afraid for any part of my body to touch the glass floor.

“We could watch some TikToks,” Axel says. “To pass the time.”

“Okay,” I say, nodding again and trying very hard not to cry. I know this is a mental game, but the sharp pangs piercing through my lower stomach are very real.

He lifts his butt slightly to pull out his phone. His screen lights up to show a photo of the two of us, taken at Wonderland. He clears his throat. “I keep forgetting to change that.”

I open my purse and pull out my phone to show him my background photo. A picture of the two of us, taken at his cousin’s wedding. “Same.”

Our eyes lock and I want to tell him everything, so many things, but it’s like I can’t think straight. Not with him sitting so close. Every mistake I’ve made flashes through my mind. I’ve been so foolish. I let this person slip out of my fingers. And here he is, literally stuck with me for the next god knows how long and I can’t find the words. Again.

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