Page 112 of You Started It

Ben smiles as he rises, extending a hand. “Look at us. We did end up at the winter formal together after all.”

I stand, taking his hand. “Yeah. You, me, and your girlfriend.”

Once we step off the bus, we find Olivia in her gold dress waiting for us, shivering as she stands on the only spot on the sidewalk that isn’t covered in snow. The others have gone ahead. Ben, like some sort of prince, carries Olivia up the snow-covered steps so she doesn’t get her feet wet. I follow them toward the CN Tower. A Blue Rodeo song plays over the speakers and it stops me in my tracks. It’s a sign. It must be. The lyrics make my heart swell until I look up…

and up…

and up.

Holy shit.

What was I thinking? There’s no way I’m getting in that elevator. I want to turn back, with everything inside me, the fear having fully taken over, but I know Ben and Olivia won’t let that happen.

They wait by the glass doors and wave me over. “Come on, Jamie. It’s freezing,” Ben shouts.

I nod and step inside with tremendous buckets of hesitation. The walk is long and quiet as we make our way to the elevators.A few groups are ahead of us. As we wait our turn, I check my phone, hoping to see a text from Axel, but there isn’t one.

“Jamie! Jamie!” a deep voice calls out. I turn around to see Finn and Diesel running toward me. The elevator doors open and I tell Ben and Olivia to go ahead.

“You promise you won’t back out?” Olivia asks, her brown eyes wide.

“I’ll be there,” I assure her, even though I’m not confident I will. The elevator doors close as Finn and Diesel approach.

“Any word from Axel?” Diesel asks.

“No. You?”

“No,” Finn replies. He looks down at his phone. “What time are we supposed to go on?”

“Seven thirty,” I answer. “They’re not doing a formal dinner. Just finger foods and drinks. Olivia wanted it to be an all-night party.”

“This is sweet,” Finn says, looking around.

“So, we should head up, right?” Diesel asks.

“You two go without me,” I say.

“Axel may already be inside, for all we know,” Finn says in a tight but hopeful voice. “Let’s go see.”

“Here’s the thing,” I say, stalling to let out another shaky breath. “I am extremely claustrophobic, like more than you can even imagine, and the idea of riding in that elevator terrifies me. But I have to do it. And I have to do it alone.”

“I feel you,” Diesel says with a nod. “Being here is doing things to my fear of heights. For real.”

“And Jamie, if we get up there and Axel isn’t there, it’ll be okay. We don’t need him to put on a good show,” Finn says. “You’ve put in the work.”

“But he’s the reason I’m even doing the performance.”

“Umm, hello? Everyone with a phone will be recording us. It’ll be up all over the gram, Snapchat, and TikTok by the end of thenight. The message can still get to Axel whether he’s here or not,” Finn says.

“I never thought of that,” I say, my pulse quickening. The idea of being immortalized on the internet, for more than just our senior class to see, is not something I signed up for. But then again, none of this is.

“Whatever you do, don’t chicken out!” Finn says. “And if you do, I’ll come back down and ride up with you. Just text if you decide you need someone by your side. It’s okay to ask for help.”

“That’s sweet,” I say.

The elevator doors open and the CN Tower employee ushers in Finn and Diesel. The metal doors close and I take in another deep breath.

“You planning on going up?” the employee running the elevators asks.

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