Page 97 of On Thin Ice

I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat, unable to answer.

Because deep down, I already knew Bell deserved someone who would choose him over their fear every time.

Someone brave.

The terrifying question was whether I could ever be that person.

CHAPTER23

ETHAN

The patio door opened with a soft scrape. I turned toward the sound, heart still heavy from everything Marjorie had just said.

Bell stepped back out side, his movements lacking their usual fluid grace. The string lights blowing in the breeze cast shifting shadows across his face, highlighting the pallor beneath his usually warm complexion.

His brows were together, his lips parted. He blinked a few times, like he’d just woken up in a place he didn’t recognize. The Bell I knew—always vibrant, always fully present in the moment—seemed momentarily replaced by someone caught in the aftermath of unexpected news.

“Everything okay?” My voice came out steadier than I felt.

His gaze finally landed on me, then flicked to Marjorie, her wine glass cradled in one hand. For a moment, confusion passed over his features, as if he’d forgotten she was even here.

I caught Marjorie’s slight eyebrow raise at his obvious distraction—the same look she’d given me minutes ago when I’d been equally scattered.

“Uh. Yeah. Just …” Bell ran a shaking hand through his hair, the slight tremor visible in the candlelight. A blond lock fell back across his forehead, but he didn’t brush it away. “Kind of still processing my call with Jax.”

He made no move to sit, just stood there with his hands resting on the back of his chair, knuckles white with pressure.

“Hey, you all right?” I asked, forcing myself to stay seated even as every instinct urged me to go to him.

I’d never seen Bell this out of sorts, but if I reached for him, he might freak out even more … might fixate on what my reaction looked like instead of what he was supposed to be telling us.

So I stayed put, sitting on my hands to keep myself from reaching for him. “You’re kind of scaring me right now.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Marjorie watching us with that knowing look of hers, the one that said she saw right through my hard-fought composure.

Bell chuckled slightly and shook his head, an expression of awed disbelief transforming his features. The tension seemed to melt from his shoulders as he finally pulled out his chair and dropped into it, leaning forward with elbows on the table, fingers laced together like he was trying to contain the energy suddenly radiating from him.

Marjorie gestured gently with her glass, the wine catching the light as she moved. “Well, go on. Don’t keep us in suspense.”

He let out another quiet huff of laughter and rubbed the back of his neck, a flush of excitement rising in his cheeks. “Jax just landed two major deals for me. Like, big time major.” His eyes were bright now, that familiar spark returning with an intensity typically reserved for the ice.

Something flickered in my chest—pride, curiosity, and something sharper I couldn’t name. Surprise? Bell hadn’t mentioned his agent pursuing anything out of the ordinary. “What kind of offers?” I found myself sitting up straighter, drawn in by his excitement despite my lingering thoughts about my conversation with Marjorie.

He looked at me then, almost sheepishly, his head tilting in that way it did when he was gauging my reaction before speaking. “You know that look you get anytime I mention TikTok? Like you suddenly regret all your life choices?”

Marjorie made a soft sound into her wine glass—not quite a laugh, but close enough that Bell glanced her way before focusing back on me.

Is that what he thought my expression was? Mostly, it was confusion. As someone who cherished my privacy, I had no idea why people felt the need to share every damn minute of every damn day of their lives with millions of strangers.

It all seemed so … performative.

And now that I knew Bell as intimately as I did, even more so.

MyBell was a man of contrasts—incredibly sweet but wickedly irreverent, deeply caring and slightly snarky, fiercely proud and highly competitive.

But the man he portrayed on his social media channels was almost one-dimensional.

As much as I hated to think it, lately, some of the stuff he posted seemed like a caricature of who he was. Not fake, exactly, but exaggerated. Like he was playing a part that had been created for him.