Page 35 of On Thin Ice

His voice cracked, and he looked away, his breath stuttering out of him.

“You make me crave things I’ve never let myself have before,” he murmured, shaking his head and wiping his hand across his mouth like the words tasted sour on his tongue. “But Ican’thave you, Bell. I can’t ask that of you.”

My chest squeezed so tight I could barely breathe. I wanted to cross the room, to shake him, to kiss him, to promise him that he could have me any way that he needed, but I didn’t because I could see, in real time, him physically rebuilding that mental wall between us.

I scrubbed a hand over my mouth, the taste of his kiss lingering on my tongue, a reminder of all that had happened between us.

Ethan might think he couldn’t ask me for anything. That it was somehow wrong for him to want me the way he did.

But he wouldn’t have to ask.

Not when I could offer myself to him instead.

He might never be ready to explore his feelings, but he desperately wanted to explore my body.

I could do that. I could give him that, even if it broke me just a little bit.

I could tell myself it would be enough. That having him this way would suffice.

But some part of me already knew it wouldn’t be.

I met his broken, furious gaze across the room, the feet between us stretching like miles. “I know you can’t ask me for what you want, Ethan,” I said, shoving the feeling of rejection down deep. “But I’m standing here now, offering it to you nonetheless.”

His breath visibly caught, his whole body going rigid like he didn’t trust what he’d heard. The muscles in his jaw worked as he swallowed hard, his throat bobbing.

“I swear to God, E. No strings. No pressure. Just … this. My body.” I ran my right hand down my frame in a single fluid motion, letting the gesture speak for itself.

“You want my cock down your throat? It’s yours. You want my hole? You can have it. I don’t need your heart.” My voice faltered on the last word, my words shaking on the lie.

I blinked against the sudden burning in my eyes, my throat tight with everything I wouldn’t say.

Because god, I wanted it. I wanted all of him so fucking bad it hurt—a physical ache that had settled somewhere beneath my breastbone and refused to leave.

CHAPTER9

ETHAN

I could barely fucking breathe. The air in the room suddenly felt too thin, too hot. Tooeverything,and yet somehow not enough.

I should’ve told him to go to hell. I should’ve stormed out of this room.

But all I could think wasyes, yes, yes.

The word pounded through my veins, drowning out every other thought, every warning clanging in my head, until it matched the beat of my heart.

Until itbecamethe beat of my heart.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Yes. Yes. Yes.

I didn’t remember deciding to move.

One second, I was frozen in place, my feet rooted to the carpet, and the next, I was across the room, my hands fisting in Bell’s wrinkled shirt, yanking him toward me.

“You’re gonna hate me for this,” I rasped just before my mouth crashed down onto his. Before I could talk myself out of what I was about to do.

For a heartbeat, he froze—his lips still under mine—and that single second of hesitation almost shattered me. Doubt sliced through the haze of my desire, sharp and cold.

But then he groaned, the sound vibrating against my mouth, and tunneled his hands through my hair to cradle my skull, fingers threading through the strands at my temples, and kissed me back. The gentle stroke of his thumbs against my beard contrasted with the bruising press of his mouth.

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