Page 104 of On Thin Ice

This was bad. So fucking bad.

What had I done, wrapping myself around Ethan like that in front of everyone? I’d acted on instinct, on something deeper than thought. And now I couldn’t stop replaying how I’d just exposed the one thing he had been so desperate to keep hidden.

The shower was mercifully quick and quiet, most guys giving me a wide berth. Hot water pounded against my skin, but I barely felt it. All I could focus on was how I’d just put Ethan in exactly the position he feared most—exposed and vulnerable, his carefully constructed walls crumbling in front of our entire team.

Chet’s words hit me all over again.He’d said them like he knew precisely how they’d land, the reaction they’d cause.

But I couldn’t forget what I’d seen—the dilation of his pupils when Ethan had him pinned, that flick of his tongue across his lips. The way his body had betrayed what his mouth denied.

Hatred born from fear. From wanting something he couldn’t let himself have.

And wasn’t that exactly where Ethan was, too? Not the hatred—never that—but the fear. The desperate need to keep his desires hidden, contained.

Where Chet lashed out, Ethan turned inward, building walls so high that sometimes I wondered if I could ever truly scale them.

Two men terrified of the same thing, handling it in completely opposite ways. One weaponizing his fear, the other making himself small enough to disappear inside it.

Fuck.

My breathing stuttered at the thought. At how easy it would be for Ethan to retreat even further after this.

With hands that moved as if on autopilot, I went through the motions of drying off, styling my hair into a tight bun at the back of my head, and getting dressed in my game day suit. The navy Armani that usually made me feel confident now felt like armor I desperately needed just to make it through the autograph line at the players’ exit.

I knotted my tie with unsteady fingers, trying to breathe through the tightness in my chest. Ethan would never forgive me for this. For being so careless with his secret. For letting the team see just how much he meant to me. For showing them what I never should have revealed—that this wasn’t just friendship between us.

That it might never have been.

And the worst part?

I couldn’t bring myself to regret it. Not fully. Not when holding him had felt so right. Even as I’d betrayed the one boundary he’d been clear about from the beginning.

I grabbed my bag and headed for the exit. The fake smile I plastered on for the waiting fans felt like it might crack my face in half, but I signed what they pushed at me, posed for selfies, and somehow made it to my car without breaking down.

The drive home was a blur of streetlights, every mile bringing me closer to whatever fallout waited for me. My knuckles whitened on the steering wheel as scenarios played through my mind—Ethan telling me it was over, Ethan kicking me out, Ethan retreating further into himself where I wouldn’t ever be able to reach him.

Each possibility was more devastating than the last.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted. Mentally fried. And still so fucking shaken.

I dropped my bag by the front door and toed off my shoes, my mind running circles around itself.

Standing at the kitchen sink, I was halfway through a glass of water when I heard the garage door rumble open.

I froze, listening for the sounds of Ethan’s footsteps, the familiar thud of his keys in the bowl on the table just inside the door.

When he stepped into the kitchen, he didn’t say anything. Just moved past me, eyes dark, shoulders stiff, jaw clenched tight. His tie hung loose around his neck, the top buttons of his shirt undone. There was a faint redness around his eyes that made my chest ache.

“E,” I said softly, watching him drop onto the couch like the weight of the day had finally caught up with him. His hands dragged down his face.

I crossed the room slowly and sank down beside him.

When he still didn’t look at me, I reached for him. Carefully, I curled one arm around his back and pressed the other hand to his chest, right over his heart, feeling the rapid, uneven thud racing beneath my fingertips.

“Talk to me, baby,” I whispered. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

His whole body sagged, tension leaking out of him as he turned toward me with a moan and buried his face against my neck. His arms came around me like he didn’t know where else to go.

We sat there in silence for a long time, breathing in sync.

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