Page 138 of Fumbled Into Love

“Do you want to practice out loud?” Henry asks.

“Not really.”

I’m going to stumble through it tomorrow in front of Nathalie, no need to do that in front of them too. I want to keep a sliver of my pride.

“It could help,” Jack says, “Work through the nerves.”

“I nearly shit myself when I told Sawyer I loved her,” Henry admits, “I would have killed to have a practice round of what I wanted to say.”

My gaze flickers around the room where empty furniture boxes pepper the floor. Gordie perches from his tower, meets my gaze, and hisses as if to saydon’t fuck this up for us.

I take a small, imperceptible step away from my demon cat. Maybe he’ll warm up to me if Nathalie says yes. I’m doing this for him, too. He could thank me with a meow and not a hiss that likely carries a curse.

“Uh…well…I-It’s,” I stumble out.

“Not great if that’s the start of your love confession,” Declan says, and Henry’s arm whips out to whack Declan in the chest. He folds over with a groan. “Thathurt.”

“Be supportive,” Henry hisses and Delan recoils.

“I came up with this idea, in case you forgot! Who told him he should ask Nathalie to be his fake girlfriend?Me.” He gives us all a smug look. “Do you think that was acoincidence?”

I blink.

Then blink again.

Surely Declan didn’t suggest Nathalie because he thought we might be…good together.

“I would say I am themostsupportive of this union, considering you’re both my best friends.” Delcan finishes off his statement with flair and drops onto my couch. “Now, come and whisk me off my feet with your declaration oflove.”

“No.”

“Yes.” The three of them respond like a chorus.

“I need a break from building shelves and you need to get the words out and practice before they eat you alive,” Jack says, sitting down beside Declan. Henry joins him on the other side and they all stare, waiting for me to speak.

I can’t do this.

I don’t truly know what I’m going to say to Nathalie tomorrow.

I love you would be a good start, but after that it’s completely blank. Words fizzle on my tongue as I fiddle with a fidget toy, focused on the ridges of the plastic beneath the pad of my thumb.

The longer they patiently wait, the anxiety compounds, growing stronger and larger until I crack and start to speak. The corner of Declan’s lip tips up in an amused smile.

“Nathalie.” The word cracks and Henry’s lip quivers. “When I-I met you.” Jack stifles a laugh with a deep cough. “Ugh!”

My fists curl and I begin to pace, only stopping to point at my three idiotic friends. “This was your idea! The least you could do was let me get a few words out.”

This was a horrible idea.

Why did I…How did I think I could pull this off?

I don’t do grand declarations of love. This is not me, not who I am. I love her, but is what I can give her enough? Will this be enough?

Will I be enough?

The flashbacks of Savannah’s proposal fly across my mind. I was so, so blind to it at the time, but the cracks of our relationship were glaringly obvious when I proposed. After she said yes, it was followed by a flurry of complaints.

I wish the diamond was bigger. This one’s sosmall.

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