Page 62 of The Paris Chapter

‘What about her?’ He sighed as if annoyed.

‘You still work with her. What if she wants you back?’

‘She doesn’t,’ Joe said. ‘Can we stop talking about her?’ He was tucking into the brunch like this conversation didn’t matter.

I was feeling increasingly like I shouldn’t be here. ‘Hang on,’ I said. ‘What did Rachel say when she found out about me? She saw me pour that wine over you…’ I glanced at my glass of Bucks Fizz.

Joe sighed. ‘She ended it. But only because she could see I was still in love with you…’

‘When?’

‘A couple of weeks ago.’

‘So, you came to Paris because she dumped you; you wouldn’t have done otherwise?’ I asked, it all becoming clear. Joe didn’t want me over Rachel; he just didn’t want to end up with no one.

Joe reached for me. ‘Baby, I’m your romantic hero, remember?’

It would be so easy to crawl back into his arms, but I realised looking at Joe, I was wrong. Parishadchanged me. I no longer fit in his arms or his flat, if I ever really ever had done in the first place. Which I didn’t think I had.

I pulled away from him. ‘A romantic hero doesn’t hide his heroine away like he’s ashamed of her; he makes her feel loved and wanted and special, he cares about her, is kind to her and takes an interest in her life and the people she loves, and he sure as hell doesn’t lie or cheat or be a complete coward who can’t tell his family who he really loves.’

Joe’s eyes widened in shock at my outburst. ‘I told you I missed you.’

‘But did you really miss me? Because you make me feel like I’m not good enough for you.’ I jumped up off my stool and pointed to the dress he had bought me. ‘Why did you buy me this?’

‘Because you’ll look hot in it,’ he said.

‘But you know I hate wearing dresses.’

‘We can’t go to this fancy restaurant with you looking casual like that,’ Joe said, gesturing to my outfit of jeans, a thin jumper and boots.

There it is.

‘You always want to change who I am but these past few days in Paris, I’ve realised that I quite like who I am. And other people like her too.’

Joe frowned. ‘God, you’re not talking about Ethan, are you? He was only with you to screw me over. He’s always wanted what I have. He’s so jealous of me, it’s pathetic. He doesn’t give a shit about you, Tessa. He didn’t want you to stay in Paris, did he?’

I flinched, his words hurting me. ‘Even if that’s true, I don’t want to be with you.’ I said the words quickly before I could stop myself. Ethan had shown me what being with someone who liked the real me could be like. I didn’t want to go back to something with Joe and end up feeling crap about myself again. It had taken leaving Paris and losing Ethan to make me see that I’d rather be alone than feel second best like Joe made me feel.

I wasn’t sure who my romantic hero was in real life, but I knew for sure – it wasn’t Joe.

I moved away from the island, further from him. ‘I was so broken when I found out about Rachel. I felt like I couldn’t write romance any more. You made me question love and happy endings and whether I could ever find a relationship in real life like the ones I write in my books. You made me not want to write about love any more. I thought you breaking my heart meant it was all bullshit. But I am not letting you ruin love and romance and relationships for me any more. And I sure as hell am not going to let you ruin my career for me either.’ I took a deep breath and looked him right in the eyes. ‘We are over, Joe. For good.’

Joe let out a laugh. ‘Well, good luck finding a man to put up with you, Tessa. And listen to you talk about your nonsense career. Your books are worthless. Silly, girly books about love. It’s embarrassing. Maybe I did you a favour if you can’t write them now – give it up and get a proper job.’

I stared at him. I had no idea how I had believed myself to be in love with a man who thought so little of me and what I did for a living. Who thought so little of anyone but himself.

‘I’m leaving now, Joe.’ I turned around and walked out of his flat and vowed I’d never go back in there again.

30

I jumped into the lift and went downstairs, hurrying through the lobby until I was back out in the fresh air again. I slumped against the wall outside and closed my eyes. My hands were shaking. I had told Joe exactly what I thought. I wasn’t sure I had ever really done that with anyone before, particularly people who had hurt or upset me or treated me less than I’d deserved. It was kind of exhilarating. I had spent so much time in this sad limbo but going to Paris had snapped me out of it, and I knew I couldn’t let myself go back there. I had to carry on facing everything.

I started walking towards where Carly and Luke lived. They had been sure that Paris would help to heal me. It had helped me close a chapter of my life. My six months with Joe and the damage they had done, the way I had lost sight of who I was and what I wanted, and the hurt I had felt when we had ended. Paris had shown me that I would get back to myself. It wouldn’t happen overnight, I still had scars on my heart, but I had let go of Joe for good. And I would find myself again.

When I reached their flat, I knocked nervously, hoping Carlywould be pleased to see me. We hadn’t spoken since she questioned me staying in Paris, apart from exchanging a message, and I missed her.

Carly opened the door and did a double take. ‘Tessa! What the hell?’ She broke into a wide smile and grabbed me, pulling me into her arms.

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