Page 32 of The Paris Chapter

He shook his head. ‘So, want to meet more people or see my favourite part of Juliette’s apartment?’

‘You already know the answer.’

I followed Ethan down a few steps until we were in a small, cosy room. A whole wall was made up of shelves with vinyl records stacked in rows, and there was a sofa and two beanbags plus a fur rug and a record player in the corner. The party suddenly seemed very far away.

‘This is so cool,’ I said, going over to look at the records. ‘Juliette has a huge collection.’

‘She loves music. She can sing beautifully. I think one time she wanted to be a singer, but then it’s hard when you have a family business, you know?’

‘Juliette told me at brunch that she wants to open her own restaurant,’ I said, walking across the wall to look at all the record spines. ‘With you.’

Ethan turned to me. ‘She told you? Yeah, that is the dream.’

‘It would be amazing. I’d be first in line.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Now you know I like fancy food.’ I nudged him playfully.

Ethan went to put a record on the player. ‘It’s a long way off.’

‘Because of Joe?’

Ethan’s hand stilled. ‘I don’t want to talk about Joe right now.’

‘I get it. But I understand why you feel like you have to pay him back. He has a way of making you feel like, I don’t know, you owe him something.’ I sighed. I remembered when Joe bought me a necklace for my birthday. He made such a big deal about how expensive it was, it made me feel uneasy to wear it. I had left it at the flat we shared when I moved out. I had felt relieved not having it any more.

‘And yet you moved in with him,’ Ethan said as a dreamy French song started playing. The singer was full of emotion so even though I couldn’t understand what she was singing about, goosebumps pricked up along my arms. We looked across at one another. ‘You’d never describe Joe as sweet.’

Was that why he was upset – because I called him sweet? I crossed the room quickly to stand in front of him. ‘No, I wouldn’t, but surely you don’t want to be anything like him?’

Ethan sighed. ‘No.’ He looked at me. ‘Are you still in love with him?’

I shook my head. ‘No. I’m not sure I ever was, to be honest. Because I didn’t know him; he didn’t let me in. It was all superficial. Yeah, he’s good looking, he’s generous, he was fun and he was great company, but we never really talked. About our feelings, what he wanted from life, what we thought about… I don’t know…’ I trailed off and thought back to looking at the sparkling Eiffel Tower with Ethan. ‘About noticing the beauty of the world. He never told me to be myself. I never told him how much I worry about things.’ I stepped closer. Ethan’s eyes were warm but uncertain as he looked back at me. ‘I don’t think it was ever real. That’s what hurt the most. That I wasted six months thinking I’d found something that I hadn’t.’

‘You wish it had worked out though?’

‘Because I want to believe in happy endings again, not because I want one with Joe.’

‘Dance with me.’

‘Huh?’

Ethan had wrong footed me. His arm came around my waist.

‘Please?’

‘Okay.’ I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me closer and we moved in slow circles to the beautiful song he had put on. I could count on one hand the number of times in my life I’d slow danced with a man. I had a scene in one of my novels where the main characters dance and readers always said that moment melted their hearts. This was really tugging at my romance-author heartstrings. I felt myself melt into him.

I leaned against Ethan’s shoulder and his hands tightened on my waist. He felt strong and steady. My heart started to thump inside my chest at his closeness and how much I was enjoying it.

‘I want you to know that I noticed you, Tessa,’ Ethan said then, leaning close to my ear. ‘That night Joe brought you to meet us. I know it was really brief but… I thought you were beautiful.’

I pulled back to look into his eyes. ‘You didn’t notice me that night,’ I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

‘I noticed you, Tessa.’

I couldn’t lie. I hadn’t noticed Ethan. I’d been so nervous, so desperate to make Joe’s friends like me, so eager for his approval, to make him happy, all I’d paid attention to was him. Then I’d felt so confused that he’d swept me in and out of that bar so fast,not introducing me to anyone, worried he was ashamed of me – I’d felt like a failure of a girlfriend. I hated how he had manipulated the situation to make me feel bad to cover up his cheating.

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