Page 16 of The Paris Chapter

‘I came out at the end of the meal and went to shake his hand. He said he remembered me and that he’d given me such a hard time because he knew I was better than what I’d shown him. He’d wanted to give me a push. Like chefs had done to him when he was first starting out. And if I could carry on after that, it meant I was in the right job.’

‘Wow.’ I took a sip of my tea. ‘He thought he was helping. And in a funny way, he did. Look at you now. I remember the first time an editor told me I had promise. She rejected my book but it gave me the confidence to keep going, to show her that I could do it. I wrote another book and she loved it, and gave me a book deal. If I had given up because of her rejection…’ I sucked in a breath. ‘I don’t want to give up now.’

‘You still love writing?’

I nodded. ‘Yes. And seeing my name on a book. Seeing that book on the shelf. Or when someone messages me to say they loved something I have written. That it helped them escape life for a little bit. That I can make someone smile after a bad day with my words.’

‘It’s the same for me. That feeling that someone loves something you’ve made. It’s a special one.’

We smiled at one another. We had different professions but they were both creative. We both made things for people to hopefully enjoy, and we both took it seriously. We had passion for our work. It wasn’t just a job. It was something special. I liked that we had it in common.

‘You won’t give it up,’ Ethan said then. ‘I saw the look on your face when you saw your book in the shop. You can’t let that go.’

I looked at the photo he had sent me. I did look so happy. ‘I don’t want Joe to be like that chef was for you; I don’t want him to stop me doing something I love. But walking into that party and seeing him kissing that woman, it just made me feel so stupid for believing in him and what we had, for thinking I’d found my happy ending after writing so many of them for my characters. It made me think that what I was writing was just one epic lie. Maybe no one ever gets a happy ever after in real life, so how I can bear to keep writing them in my books, you know?’

I saw Ethan’s face, his mouth set in a hard line as he stared down at his coffee cup.

‘Oh, sorry,’ I said quickly. ‘I know we said we wouldn’t mention what happened between me and Joe… I don’t want to put you in an awkward position; I know he is your best friend.’

Ethan took a second to respond, looking like he was weighing up what to say next. ‘Tessa, I want you to know that I don’t support anyone cheating, friend or not,’ he said firmly. His phone on the table vibrated with a call then. ‘Is it okay if I take this?’ he asked me.

I nodded and took a sip of my tea, wishing I could know more about what he thought of what Joe had done.

‘Bonjour, Juliette,’ Ethan said enthusiastically. ‘We were justtalking about you.’ He dropped me a wink and I smiled back. Then he started talking in rapid French. I listened in wonder, wishing I had learnt another language.

Then Ethan switched to English and looked at me as he held the phone to his ear. ‘I don’t know, Juliette,’ Ethan said hesitantly. He glanced at me. ‘I’ve already invaded her holiday enough. But… okay, okay, I’ll ask her…’ Ethan pulled the phone away from his ear. He looked nervous. ‘So, no pressure to say yes at all, okay? But Juliette and my friends are back from her country place and they want to eat at her family’s restaurant tonight. It’s where I worked when I lived here. They would love you to come. They all want to meet you.’

‘They do?’ I asked.

‘Of course,’ he said, surprised by my reaction. ‘It’s not every day two people get stuck in a one-bedroom apartment together.’ He looked kind of shy then. ‘But I understand if it’s too much. We are hanging out more than we thought…’ He trailed off.

I hesitated. I had never loved meeting lots of new people, and my experience with Joe keeping me from his friends and family had sunk my confidence at doing so even further. ‘You really want me to?’ I asked uncertainly.

Ethan nodded. ‘Of course. We’re friends now, right?’ I thought I caught hope in his expression.

It felt good knowing he wanted to keep hanging out with me. I breathed through my nerves and nodded. ‘Okay, then.’

His face relaxed into a warm smile. ‘Great!’ He went back to Juliette and spoke again in French before saying, ‘Okay, okay, bye,’ and hanging up. ‘Sorry for putting you on the spot like that. You’ll find out that Juliette is very hard to say no to.’ He was smiling fondly though. I wondered if they had dated. Or were dating. And my stomach clenched a little bit. ‘They’re coming round at seven. It will be fun. I’m glad you’re going tomeet them. They are really great people.’ We looked at one another. It felt like Joe was on both of our minds. I hoped Ethan’s French friends were nothing like him. ‘You still want to?’ he checked again. Maybe he wasn’t as confident as I had assumed he was.

It felt like a key moment in this burgeoning friendship of ours. I could say no to hanging out with him and his friends and then he would leave to stay elsewhere. Ethan would go back to being someone I didn’t know.

But that felt wrong. It didn’t make sense that I wanted to spend more time with him, what with his connection to my ex, but I was enjoying the spots he was taking me to in Paris. He had a calmness about him that I was drawn to. Plus, I couldn’t help but be intrigued about his friend Juliette. Ethan’s whole face had lit up when he spoke to her. She had invited me out with them later. Which suggested Ethan had said something complimentary about me or enough to make her want to meet me.

I’d love you to come.

His words echoed in my ears. It was a very different sentiment to Joe. He had kept me from people he knew. I had started to feel he was ashamed of me. Now I knew it had been to make sure that no one could tell me about his other woman, but feeling that I wasn’t good enough was hard to shake. So such an easy invite from Ethan did feel good. He told me I could trust him. I had no idea if I would ever be able to do that, but I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him forever either.

‘I still want to come along,’ I told him.

‘Yeah?’ He leaned back in his chair. ‘Great. And I can maybe stay with Juliette afterwards, give you your space back,’ he added quietly, avoiding my gaze.

‘Oh, right,’ I replied, thinking the apartment would feel kind of lonely without him there.

‘Shit, look at the time,’ Ethan said suddenly. ‘I better head off to my course. Will you be okay?’

‘Of course,’ I assured him. ‘I’ll see you later, at the apartment? For seven?’

‘See you there, Tessa.’ He drained the rest of his coffee and got up and, with a wave, disappeared into the Paris rain.

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