Page 30 of The Paris Chapter

‘You and Joe are so different,’ I blurted out. ‘I can’t picture how you even became friends. Juliette mentioned you’ve been friends since you were really young though?’ I wanted to hear Ethan tell me their story.

He glanced back at me again. ‘Yeah, we met at boarding school. I got a scholarship and a lot of that was due to my love of cricket. They took it very seriously. Joe was a great player on the team, and that bonded us. My dad was never around and my mum worked a lot so Joe invited me to stay one holiday, and that was it. It became tradition. We’d play cricket, he taught me to ride, their cook let me in the kitchen, and I don’t know, his family became like mine. Especially when my mum died. And my dad disappeared from my life for good.’

‘I’m so sorry, Ethan.’

He nodded. ‘I was fifteen. It was a shit time. Joe and his family were there for me. Brothers don’t always get on or aren’t always alike, are they? But they are still brothers. I guess that’s how it’s always been with us, but…’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘As we got older, we realised we are different. I don’t always agree with him and he knows it. I suppose we stay friends because our past bonds us. But I don’t know what will happen in the future. Listen, Tessa, I don’t agree with how he strung you and Rachel along at all. And he knows that. That’s why he didn’t want us hanging out.’

I nodded. ‘I should have realised something was up with how Joe kept me away from the people in his life. I didn’t even meet his family, not once. I was really blind.’

‘It’s his fault, not yours,’ Ethan said simply.

I wish I could see it as that black and white.

‘So, you know all about my ex – what about yours?’ I asked curiously. ‘There hasn’t been anyone you’ve wanted to settle down with?’

‘I had a girlfriend for about three years. We met when we were both studying to be chefs,’ he said. ‘But we were both really focused on our careers. I got the offer to live and work in Paris and I took it. She didn’t want to come and I understood. I suppose it came down to us not seeing our future together. My career is really important to me like yours is, but for the right woman, I would want to settle down, yeah. Get married, but I don’t really see myself having a family though.’

‘I know what you mean,’ I said, nodding. ‘Is it because of your father?’

‘This is getting very deep,’ he replied.

‘You don’t have to?—’

‘I told you, I like talking to you,’ he cut in. ‘I don’t want to be like him and if there is the slightest chance, I don’t want to take the risk. What about you?’

‘My parents are still together, we get on well, but I don’t know. I like life in the city, writing when I want to. Like you say,it’s always been important to me. Which is why I feel so lost right now. I always pictured myself getting married but not necessarily having a family. I suppose it depends on who I end up with and what we envision for our life together.’

‘Listening to you, I can’t picture you two together. Joe is all about the family life. I know he pictures his wife at the family country estate popping out, like, four kids.’

‘He never told me that.’ I frowned. ‘We didn’t talk about the future much, which should have been a red flag I now realise. He didn’t see his future with me.’

‘But you saw it with him?’

‘I did at one point. I thought he might even propose on this trip here,’ I said, gesturing around the apartment. ‘God, I feel stupid for thinking that. Rachel was the one he wanted to marry, not me.’

‘I’m not sure it’s as straightforward as that,’ he said carefully.

‘Well,’ I said with a shrug, ‘like you say, maybe we were never the right fit. I think I was swept up in our romantic meeting, thinking I’d met a hero right out of one of my novels. You know what he’s like.’

‘Oh, yeah, he always got the girls,’ Ethan said. ‘As he never fails to remind me,’ he added dryly.

‘But does he ever keep them?’ I asked.

Ethan turned and met my eyes and shook his head. ‘No, and definitely not the ones worth keeping.’

I tried not to get carried away thinking I might fit into that category, but as we held each other’s gaze, something passed between us. A thread of connection that I hadn’t seen coming. But a thread that I didn’t want to break yet. I took a gulp of wine to help steady myself because I was suddenly filled with want. Want to kiss the man who had just told me to be myself. Something I had longed for Joe to do but he had never done.

‘Thank you,’ I choked out. ‘You’re so sweet, Ethan.’

He turned away and poured pasta into boiling water. For a minute, I wasn’t sure he’d heard me but then I saw his shoulders slump. ‘That’s what they tell me,’ he muttered as if it wasn’t quite meant for my ears.

14

Ethan was quiet while we ate our pasta, then we split up to get ready for Juliette’s brother’s party. When I came out of the bedroom, Ethan was on the sofa with another glass of wine, scrolling on his phone. He looked up and did a double take. ‘You’re stunning,’ he said. Then he coughed like he’d been too honest. ‘I mean, you look nice… great… I, uh, like the outfit.’

I smiled, trying not to feel too pleased, but it was hard not to. I was wearing a faded t-shirt tucked into leather trousers with my ankle boots, and slung over my shoulders was my black blazer. I’d curled my hair and done my eyes smoky for the occasion. Ethan seemed taken aback by both how I looked and how he’d complimented it.

‘Thank you. I like your shirt,’ I said, noticing that he’d put on a dark shirt and trousers. They suited him. ‘Oh, it’s sparkling.’ I moved towards the balcony to look at the Eiffel Tower. ‘The perfect start to the night,’ I said, smiling at the lights. ‘How is this city so magical somehow?’

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