Page 28 of The Paris Chapter

‘That, Juliette, is the million-dollar question.’

‘I don’t understand.’

I laughed. ‘It probably doesn’t translate. The thing is, I’ve been burnt once. I’m not sure I can ever risk it again.’

‘You will when it feels right. The same about your writing. When you’re ready, it will come back.’

She sounded so certain, I envied her. I wasn’t sure I was certain about anything any more. But maybe that was okay.

Maybe you have to become lost so you can find exactly what you’re looking for.

13

The sun came out in the afternoon so I took a mug of tea and my laptop out onto the balcony to enjoy it at the small table out there. I opened up the document I had titled ‘Book Three’ at Christmas. It had remained a blank space since then. Writing used to not only feel easy, it was also a need. When working my last novel, I’d stayed up all night to write the ending – I was so inspired, so desperate to get the words floating around in my head onto my laptop. My fingers tapped away at the keys so furiously, I worried the neighbours might complain. But now, my laptop was like an object I didn’t know how to use.

I took a deep breath and typed out the two words that used to fill me with excitement.Chapter One.

At least it’s no longer a blank page!

I picked up my phone and took a picture of my set up on the balcony. It looked like a writer’s dream. Even though I hadn’t actually written anything, I posted it on Instagram with the caption:

#amwriting

Stevie from Turn the Pages commented on it instantly.

I can’t wait to read this!

My editor Gita liked it. Then Carly responded.

I’m coming on the next research trip!

The likes flew in rapidly. Then one name caught my eye.

‘What?’ I almost spilled my tea everywhere. Hastily, I moved my mug away from my laptop and stared at my phone. Yep, there it was. The last name I wanted to see in my Instagram notifications.

JoeHarrison10 liked this

I had unfollowed my ex on Instagram but I knew he hadn’t unfollowed me. I debated blocking him but I didn’t want him to think I cared. So, he was not only still looking at my posts but was now interacting with them.

What the fuck?

Any hope I had of coming up with some words for the first chapter disappeared in a puff of smoke. I closed the laptop and put my head in my hands.

In my existential crisis, I missed the apartment door opening, so when a voice spoke in the balcony entrance, I jumped.

‘Uh oh, what happened?’

I lifted my head to see Ethan leaning against the doorframe, looking down at me with concern.

‘Just opened my laptop to try to write something, then shut it right back up again. I’m a failure.’

‘You need to be kind to yourself,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘You’ve been through a lot. Creativity doesn’t come when we want it to at the best of times; when you’re not feeling yourself, you’re not going to be inspired. That’s what this trip is for, right? A chance to get yourself back. The words will come when you feel that.’

I stared at him. ‘You’re a wise man, Ethan Taylor.’

He grinned. ‘Always easier to give advice to other people.’ He saw my phone on the table lighting up. ‘You’re popular today.’

‘Oh, yeah, well, everyone thinks a balcony in Paris is inspiring,’ I said, gesturing around us. ‘And it is beautiful. It’s just not helping.’

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