Page 45 of Emylia

A flicker of something unreadable crossed his face before a shadow of a smile lifted one side of his full lips, slow and sure. He took a step forward, and I swear the air bent around him. His eyes lit up—crystal blue, then deeper, like glacier cracks swallowing sunlight.

What in actual Nexus. Why did his eyes change colors? And why did my body respond like it wanted to set itself on fire?

I looked away, like I couldn’t withstand the weight of his stare. And then I hated myself.

The realization hit harder than any threat—this feeling, this pull wasn’t just with him.

I’d felt it before.

With Sebastian.

Gods, Sebastian.

With him, it had never been just heat. It was laughter in the dark. It was every moment I didn’t think I deserved—every joke he cracked when I wanted to cry. Every time he'd been there for me, without hesitation. Without me asking.

He saw me when I was broken and never once made me feel like I was weak. He knew me in ways Maalikai couldn’t. In ways I didn’t even know myself. And still… I was standing here, heart pounding for someone else.

What the heck was wrong with me?

Sebastian had always been the calm to my storm. The missing piece I couldn’t live without. Complimented me so perfectly, it felt like a sin to consider anything different.

To consider anyone else.

And I—I was entertaining the idea of setting myself on fire just to feel Maalikai’s heat. The guilt hit like a punch to the ribs. Sharp. Deep.

I could almost hear Sebastian's voice—soft, teasing, warm. The way he said my name like it mattered. LikeImattered. He would never say it the same way again. Not if he saw this—saw me with Maalikai.

With Sebastian, I was transparent. I would never be able to hide the truth–not from him.

Not the way my pulse jumped for Maalikai. Not the betrayal curling quietly in my chest. I didn’t get to lie when it came to him. And I didn’t have the luxury of pretending I wasn’t already breaking everything that mattered.

Did that make me some indecisive, lust-drunk Josephine knock-off?

I bit the inside of my cheek, hard.

Gods, no.

I refused to be.

But the shame that licked through me was a torturous burn. The truth I didn’t want to face? I didn’t know if I was better than her. And that terrified me more than anything.

Turned out, it didn’t matter if I avoided Maalikai’s gaze—because I couldfeelhis eyes on me, burning into my skin like he was seeing inside my soul.

“No, I’m not going to turn you in.”

Emerald flared as my eyes locked on his. “You’re not?”

“No fucking way. Where would be the fun in that?”

Okay then.Screw him.I was so out.

I turned on my heel and managed half a step before he stopped me.

“I’m Maalikai.” It took me a moment to steady my breathing before I dared to meet his eyes.

Debilitating. One look, and I was intoxicated.

As much as I already despised him, my body betrayed me—caving at the sound of his voice.