Page 59 of Rogue Elves of Ardani

“I… need to find an alchemist,” she murmured after a while, looking away. Vaara didn’t say anything, but when she turned to leave, he followed her. She peeled off her gloves and tucked them into her belt.

“I wasn’t…” he began, his tone almost apologetic, and trailed off. “Whatwasthat?” he said, instead.

She knew he was talking about the empathic feedback. It was undoubtedly unlike anything he’d felt before. Some people were disturbed by it—by the lack of control, and by the intensity of feeling. She was certain he’d be one of those people, based on his general feelings about empathy.

“Something that happens when Ashara make love,” she said, a little defensively. “It’s… I don’t have the level of skill required to control it. I’m sorry if it bothered you.”

Now she was reflecting on flashes of things she’d seen in his mind and hadn’t had time to process in the moment. A view of herself through his eyes when they’d first met: him lying down and looking up at her as she smiled. A split second view of him bracing himself against a wall, cock in hand as he thought of her, which sent a shiver of heat through her.

He’d been thinking of this since the day he’d met her. But she’d never expected him to go through with it.

The only alchemist’s shop she knew of that was open this late was a tiny but well-kept place in a seedy part of the lower ring of the city.

As they entered the shop, the sun elf girl sitting behind the counter smiled at them.

“I need a contraceptive,” Crow said, not quite looking at her.

The girl glanced up at Vaara, then back at Crow, and her smile widened sweetly. “Of course.” She went to a shelf, picked up a tiny bottle, and brought it back to the counter. “Just the one dose? There’s a discount if you buy a half dozen, if you need more for later.”

Crow glanced surreptitiously back at Vaara, who stood a few steps behind her. He’d put his scarf and hood back into place, and she couldn’t see his reaction to the question, except when his eye darted toward her and then away again.

“Just one,” Crow said quickly, handing her a few coins.

She uncorked the bottle and downed it as soon as they were outside. Vaara stood stiffly beside her.

“I suppose you’ll go back to Kuda Varai now,” she said, then remembered what he’d said about there being nothing there for him anymore. Had he really meant that?

He leaned against the wall of the shop. “No.”

She looked up at him, surprised. “You want to stay with me?”

He shook his head slowly. “No. But I’ll have to, regardless. The binding is unbroken. The mage in the tavern said that she could suppress its power for a few minutes, but no more than that. Long enough for me to... free myself.”

He’d had one chance, and he hadn’t been able to do it.

“You could have left anyway,” she said quietly. “You could have let me think it was still broken.”

He shook his head again. “Try as I might to escape its pull, the binding still draws me back to you. Always.”

If all were good and fair in the world, and if she were the sort of person who always did the right thing, she would have freed him right then and there. He’d spared her life at his own expense.

Crow looked down at her feet. She pulled her gloves from her belt and put them on. She swallowed tightly.

“You’ll be free after tomorrow,” she said. “After we finish this.”

Vaara said nothing. Crow had a feeling that her selfishness did not at all surprise him.

Chapter 16

Just one more day, and they’d be finished, Crow had said. Vaara wished he believed her.

He knew now that she was never going to free him. And he also knew that he did not have the courage to kill her. Maybe all his courage had been beaten out of him long ago.

Or had he just grown to like being imprisoned? Was that it? Maybe he simply enjoyed being controlled. Maybe that was what he deserved, since he’d chosen to give in to his tormentor instead of killing her and freeing himself.

The worst part was that he didn’t regret it. He’d enjoyed it—the sight of her enthusiastically yielding to him, the sound of her pleased gasps, the feeling of her soft body in his hands… That tiny moment in the beginning when she’d tilted her head to bring her lips to his.

He didn’t regret it at all. That was how he knew how truly, irredeemably pathetic he’d become. He’d loved it. Even if touching her and losing control to her empathy still terrified him.

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