Page 117 of Rogue Elves of Ardani

He realized he was going to finish a half second before it happened, and distantly he noted that he should probably pull out, because there were no alchemists nearby and if she became pregnant—

Fuck it, he’d raise a baby with her if she wanted. He’d do anything for her.

He buried himself deep, drinking in her gasps as he spilled himself inside her.

As the haze of euphoria faded, the world came back to him, piece by piece. It had felt very far away for a few moments.

“Fuck,” he muttered. He pressed his face into her hair, basking in her scent. How did she always smell so good? “Shit…”

He pulled away to look at her. Her forehead glistened with a sheen of sweat, and her chest rose and fell with deep breaths. Her eyes were hazy and heavy-lidded.

He began to realize the gravity of what he’d just done. He’d really just come inside her, without any plan for keeping her from becoming pregnant. Again.

He rolled away from her, pushing his hair out of his face. She didn’t look concerned. Goddess help him, what if she actually did want a baby? What had he just done?

She was rifling through her pile of clothes at the side of the bed. He watched with relief as she pulled a small bottle out of a pocket and furtively tipped its contents into her mouth.

“When did you get that?” he asked.

She cleared her throat. “I, um… went back to that alchemist. After that first time.”

He leaned back on his elbows, raising his eyebrows.

“Took her up on that half dozen offer,” she added.

“I see.” He paused. “Then you still have five more left?” he said.

She took his meaning and tightened her lips to suppress a smile. “Yes.” She dropped her head onto one of the pillows, and a cloud of dust rose around her. She coughed. Vaara helped her wave it away.

“What is this place, anyway?” he said.

“Patros’s ancestral home, apparently. I’ve never been here before now. I’m not sure he has, either, come to think of it.” She slid under the covers and pulled them up to her chin, shivering. “Ash, it’s cold.”

Vaara slipped under the covers. The bed was big. He could have moved to the other side and had plenty of room to himself, but he moved close to her, instead. Her skin was cold to the touch. He twined his legs with hers and let her press her cold feet against him.

She glanced up at him hesitantly, her hands in fists against her chest. She didn’t know whether she was allowed to reach out to him. Vaara sighed softly.

“If you don’t want me to touch you, I don’t have to,” she said gently. “It’s no different from any other preference in bed.”

He watched her for a moment, his eye following the lines of her collarbones and shoulders, up her neck, over small ears and into her hair. Earth-toned eyes watched him, seeing too much.

“I wouldn’t mind if you touched me a little,” he said.

She hesitated, then rolled over to lay on his chest. “Like this?”

Satisfied warmth washed over him. He folded his arms over the small of her back. “Yes.”

She closed her eyes and was quiet for a time. Vaara savored the weight and warmth of her body. It had been too long since he’d held someone like this. He’d forgotten what it was like. He’d not realized how much he needed it.

Crow’s feet wagged idly between his. “Most people wouldn’t do this with me,” she said, flashing him an appreciative, sad smile.

It took him a moment to understand what she meant. She might be able to convince someone to bed her—who could resist it when it was as good as what he’d just experienced?—but most people would want to get away from her as soon as possible after that.

“Did you ever think of going to Ashara?”

“To be with people who understand me, you mean?” She shifted, resting her cheek on her hands over his chest. “I’ve thought about it. It was never an option before—I couldn’t leave Patros. But now…”

The thought of her leaving made him unexpectedly anxious.

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