Page 154 of Rogue Elves of Ardani

She felt his misery anew: The torment of knowing that the only thing his future held was more torment. The exhaustion that came with the physical assaults he faced every day. The humiliation of defeat. The lingering, sourceless fear that plagued him even now, and the worry that he might never overcome that fear for as long as he lived.

Crow relived all of it. Amplified it. Bathed in it. And Alexei relived it with her.

It was a vortex of inescapable blackness. It was a bottomless well with unclimbable walls. It was all-encompassing, overpowering, suffocating darkness.

She felt Alexei’s mind begin to twist and pull against her as he tried to escape it.

Stop,he said again, and this time she could feel panic in the word.

She thought of Patros, then—of being trapped in the cellar at his home, of the loneliness and isolation, the self-hatred and self-pity. She remembered the people she’d hurt for him, and the nights she’d spent in her room sobbing or beating her mattress or staring at the ceiling until the sun rose. She remembered the times she’d contemplated ending it all.

In the far away physical world, she felt her hands clenching on his throat, her nails digging in. She crystallized her pain, sharpening it into blade-like points. They dug into Alexei’s mind, embedding themselves inside like needle-toothed parasites. She could feel his fear now. He couldn’t escape from it anymore. She wouldn’t let him.

It was agony. It was mind-shattering, heart-stopping torture. A lifetime of emotion condensed into one moment. And they were drowning in it. It was too much for one person to bear. It was enough to drive someone mad.

She could feel Alexei’s desperation. His mind had grown wild and incoherent with the same sort of panicked desperation she’d been experiencing only moments ago.

There’s no escape,she thought miserably, her voice echoing through their minds.This will never end. We are tainted, and we always will be.

She could not be sure how much time had passed in that darkness. Seconds or hours. But then, suddenly, it ended.

Out of nowhere, there was a spike of pain. Blood. Death.

She opened her eyes, taking a sharp breath. Her hands were still on Alexei’s neck, trembling.

Alexei’s hands were on a knife, and that knife was just above her hands, embedded deep in his own throat. Hot blood gushed from the wound and coated his hands and chest.

Crow let go of him and took an unsteady step back. Alexei’s blue eyes had gone hazy and empty as he fell to his knees. Slowly his entire body went slack and his hands fell from the knife. He was still on his knees, propped up by his rigid armor, as the life left his body.

Crow was frozen in place. Tears had formed icy tracks on her face. The misery she’d summoned still coursed through her.

It will never end. We are tainted. Forever.

She bent over, pressing her hands to her head, rubbing the heels of her palms against her eyes.It will never end.

“Crow.”

She slowly looked up. Vaara lay in the snow where she’d left him, his eye half closed, watching her. His hair was frozen and his skin was ashen. Bits of frost and snow were gathering on his skin and clothes.

She knelt in the snow beside him, her hands hovering helplessly over him, not knowing how to comfort him.

He was going to die. Gods, he was going to die.

Her eyes wandered away from his to stare into the distance. She could see nothing, feel nothing except the horrid emptiness that the minutes in Alexei’s head had left her with.

“Crow.”

She turned her gaze back to him. He slowly reached for her face and wiped at tear tracks, which only left bigger damp marks—he was soaked through from the pond and the snow.

He stiffened as the empathic connection formed between them, and she knew he felt what she was feeling. His expression darkened and his hand opened to hold her face.

He spoke to her nonverbally, in feelings and images, and the thoughts he sent her could not be translated into words, but they reminded her who she was. They brought her back to herself. She brought her hand to rest over his, holding it against her cheek.

Looking at him grounded her. The color and shape of his mind was familiar and comfortable. Gradually the heaviness on her soul lifted, and she could breathe again. The darkness faded to, if not complete lightness, at least something less opaque. Numb helplessness ebbed and was slowly replaced with cold resolve.

She needed to do something. She needed to help him.

She swallowed hard and went to Alexei’s body. She rifled through his pockets until she located a stash of panacea bottles, gathered them up, then upended one of them between Vaara’s lips. He choked, but managed to swallow most of it.

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